Tag Archives: thoughts

Control is a Trap

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control IGControl. Those who don’t have it, want it; and those who have it, want more. No one seems to want less control. But in reality, we don’t have the control we think we have, and certainly can’t hold onto it as we age. Control is a slippery and brutal beast. It will rip out your heart, even as you grasp at it’s greasy tail. Control will lure you with promises of riches, happiness, and popularity. But it’s a trap. Life is full of things we have no control over, and with no hope of gaining that edge.

For example, when I realized I was pregnant with my first child, I bought the book “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” An avid reader, I devoured the wonderful words of advice and information within it’s 300+ pages. What the author failed to mention: My kid did not read this book before he was born. All that I “expected,” all that I sought to control, went right out the window before the little bugger made his appearance. I should have seen it coming – my labor and delivery was epic…as in awful, unpredictable, and without a shred of control. Though David was a wonderful baby, he never wanted to go to sleep. Tried everything short of allowing him to scream all night.  I will not bore you with more stories of my beautiful baby boy, but it didn’t take long for me to realize who was actually in control, and it wasn’t me or Don.

Last week we visited Don’s sweet mom and saw the awful ravages of dementia. She has no control over what she can remember or who will take care of her. Those around her love her well, but there is no illusion of control for her.

As the end of 2019 approaches, I decided to share another wisdom tidbit.

If someone else says it well, you don’t need to try to improve it.

So, as I contemplate the topic of “control,” I decided to tap into the already-published wisdom of Jennifer Dukes Lee, author of the best-seller “It’s All Under Control.” Reading Jennifer’s book was very freeing for me, filled with wonderful insights into control, how to let it go, how to hang on, and how to give it all to God, the One who controls all things. Jennifer produced a thought-provoking printable about what we actually CAN control and I have it posted by my desk. May be time to print it again for the new year.

Can Control (1)

Confessions

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orange_flower

So why did I say I was going to blog for 40 days in a row? Today is day 36, I think. My brain is empty (or emptier, depending on your point of view). Anything I think of sounds like drivel. I was proud of a couple of posts. I cringed a few times on others when hitting the “publish” tab. But I enjoy writing. I enjoy putting thoughts on paper (um…computer). But the pressure of having to put those thoughts in writing has gotten to me today. I got nothing.

Most who know me well understand that I’m a talker. I’ve never had a problem stating an opinion, discussing an issue or yucking it up over humorous situations. I think a few of you wonder why I’m blogging at all. Good question. Because I can. You can too, if you want to. The technology of having a blog site makes it pretty simple. No one has to be very tech-savvy to handle a wordpress blog.

So today I’ve got nothing to say. At least nothing to say to you. Except…why don’t you try it? Why don’t you open a word document and type away. Or my personal favorite – grab one of those old Mead composition notebooks with the wide ruled pages and start creating. Journal what you’ve done today. Draw a picture. Doodle a flower or two. Use some pretty colored markers and write out your favorite Scripture.

Now that I think about it – I believe I’ve already blogged about the cathartic qualities of writing. See – now I’m repeating myself. Time to blog off. Maybe I’ll get some inspiration in the middle of the night.

If you want to read some very good stuff, check out my son’s blog posts recently. His latest creative writing endeavor is a 12-part series that I’m very proud of. But I’m his mom – I’m allowed.

Write Right Now!

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Journaling

I don’t remember a time that I didn’t like writing. In first grade I loved writing my whole name across the top of my paper: Kristine Gail McCullough. I loved that my name was long so I had to use all the space across from left to right to fit it all in. And I had the best letters! More capital letters than anyone else in my class. Then my teacher told me I didn’t need to write the whole thing. It was taking too long and my hand was cramping by the end of the day. I think I was grasping those big fat pencils too tightly.

So I shortened my name to “Kris” (but I still have an awesome amount of capital letters thanks to marrying my own Mr. McGarvey). But my love of writing continues.My 40-day Lenten addition today is putting words on paper, everyday, in some form. I have a lovely old-style composition book (see picture above – don’t you just love a brand new notebook!) and the desire to write, whatever comes into my head.

Today I wrote some Scripture and took off on the theme of fearing the Lord. But tomorrow may be a recipe, or a prayer, or a story, or a memory. The important thing for me is the discipline of putting thoughts on lined paper. It’s a lost art, really. We think spewing stuff in that “What’s On Your Mind?” box at the top of our Facebook newsfeed is sufficient. Most of the time I write something there in response to someone else’s spewing and if I’m wise, I delete it before posting. The beauty of my little comp book is the privacy I have to say whatever I want, because only my eyes will ever see it. Oh yes – God will see it too. But I’m not afraid to be angry, or defiant, or sad…God isn’t afraid of my thoughts. Be honest – He knows us better than we know ourselves. And maybe, just maybe, He has a few words for me to write down as well.

So get yourself a brand, spanking new notebook and start writing…right now!