Tag Archives: Love

The Place for Hatred

love_and_hate_by_baro24

The word “hate” conjures up so many images. Just saying the word makes me think of anger and darkness. I can almost smell the fumes of brimstone and ash. Hatred is a very strong word. And we throw it around so carelessly.

“I hate lima beans.”

“I hate that reality show.”

“I hate her dress.”

“I hate my life.”

After some pondering and Scripture-searching, I’ve decided there are two sides to hatred. We need to stop using it nonchalantly. There is no place for the word “hate” when we are referring to a person. God calls us to love each other, even to love our enemies (Matthew 5:43-48 Read it in the Message – powerful stuff). Though the Psalms are rife with references to “hating our enemies,” the New Testament arrival of Jesus puts into perspective how much God loves all of us, no matter our political party affiliation, religion, or sexual orientation. I’m not where I need to be yet – but I’m facing the right direction. I desire to choose love over hate, every time.

But there is a place for hatred. We need to hate how we treat each other. We need to hate how we treat ourselves. We need to hate sin, all sin, the way God does. And sin means more than just what you don’t like.

Paul gives a great list of behavior and attitudes we should hate: “It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.” (Galatians 5:19-21 The Message)

So hate what deserves your hatred…and then choose to love.

I Really Don’t Care

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Sometimes I just don’t care. I don’t care about the latest Bachelor episode, hipster trends, or political hot button. I don’t care who won a Grammy or Oscar or the latest steroid scandal in sports. I don’t care if the dress is blue and black or white and gold. Really.

Does that make me apathetic? Maybe. But I guess I don’t have time to fixate on issues which have no eternal consequence. The question I need to ask myself is more along the lines of: Do I care about the things which God cares about?

Do I love the lost? Do I help the impoverished? Do I give a cup of water to someone’s who is thirsty? Do I clothe the naked? Do I feed the hungry? Do I rescue the trafficked? Do I even care?

I’m asking myself those important questions today.

Jesus said, “We are intimately linked in this harvest work. Anyone who accepts what you do, accepts me, the One who sent you. Anyone who accepts what I do accepts my Father, who sent me. Accepting a messenger of God is as good as being God’s messenger. Accepting someone’s help is as good as giving someone help. This is a large work I’ve called you into, but don’t be overwhelmed by it. It’s best to start small. Give a cool cup of water to someone who is thirsty, for instance. The smallest act of giving or receiving makes you a true apprentice. You won’t lose out on a thing.” Matthew 10:40-42 (The Message)

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:40 (NIV)

Just do it.

Eeyore or Pollyanna

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Goodbye Eeyore, Hello Pollyanna

Though I’m naturally an optimistic person, sometimes I react in negative ways to someone who wants to bring change into my life. Instead of embracing the excitement of doing something new or in a different way than what I may be used to, I jump right to “but what if?” It’s like a splash of icy water in someone’s face when I respond negatively to their anticipation.

In the spirit of trying new things, I’m going to let go of negativity. It won’t be easy. I don’t always realize what I sound like. But I can usually tell by the expression on the face of the person I just spewed on.

I’ve been accused of being a Pollyanna (refer to old Disney movie of same name). She always looked for the silver lining in any situation, loved everyone no matter what class of person they were, and her unconditional love transformed a grumpy aunt into a loving, giving woman. Now there is the power of love! (Huey Lewis song reference) I guess I’d rather be a Pollyanna than an Eeyore (refer to A.A. Milne’s donkey of Winnie-the-Pooh fame). As beloved as Eeyore is, he has serious depression issues. Only Winnie’s love-him-at-all-costs attitude brings Eeyore any semblance of normalcy. You see, we all need our Pollyannas and Winnie-the-Poohs. Winnie and Polly light up their worlds with their positive view of life.

I think the opposite of being negative in every response and reaction isn’t being positive. I think the antithesis of negativity is joy! The Psalmist said, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” (Psalms 51:12).

There are some days I can’t seem to choose joy. Those days when life is hard, love seems far away, news is tough to hear…those days I can only pray for the joy of the Lord to fill me. I have to decide to react with love and joy but I can’t give out what I don’t have inside me to give. So I pray daily for the joy of the Lord to fill me and the love of Christ to shine through me. (Psalm 4:6-7 – “Many are asking, ‘Who can show us any good?’ Let the light of your face shine upon us, O Lord. You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound.”)

If I’ve spewed on you in the past, please forgive me. If I’ve responded to your new ideas or good news with harsh words or negative emotions, please forgive me.  Today I will choose to give up my negativity and embrace joy!

Giving Up Guilt

My siblings may not know this but I have three secret stepsisters…really, really ugly stepsisters. I don’t often acknowledge them but I keep them pretty close at hand. Once in a while I get brave or inspired and kick them out but then in a weak moment, one or all will creep back in to live with me again. Maybe you know them. Their names are Guilt, Shame and Condemnation.

Day 9 – The Guilt Has to Go!

I’m not perfect. I never have been. I have a few things in my past that I regret. Maybe you do too. I don’t have any problem allowing the guilt from those mistakes to live with me. I know God loves me. I trust God’s Word. Because of Jesus’ death on the cross and my acceptance of Him as my Lord and Savior, I have been forgiven of all my past mistakes (Eph. 1:7). Because of God’s love, grace and mercy I can live my life free of guilt. But that doesn’t mean I do. And it is my own choices which bring old ugly Guilt back to live within my head over and over again.

Have you ever done something you thought was so bad or so hurtful, that no one could forgive you? You know God has, right? Just ask Him and He will. That’s the really easy part. But this sin, this error in judgment, this stupid mistake, occupies your mind and soul. Maybe even to the point of making you physically ill. That’s your ugly stepsister Guilt at work once again.

Guilt

What does it take to remove the old gal?
Forgiveness. You and I forgiving ourselves.
You see, until I decide to let the past live in the past, that shadow of guilt will hover and drown out whatever good God could bring from that old mistake.

Today I’m booting my ugly Guilt to the curb and replacing her with the sweet aroma of forgiveness – basking in God’s forgiveness of me and sprinkling it with a lot of forgiveness of myself (Heb. 10:22).

Be Gone Guilt! I’m giving your living space a new name – Forgiveness.

Knock It Off!

Day 7 – Giving Up Some Bad Words

I recently had a conversation with my brother and sister about a word we all find offensive…especially in a certain context. It’s demeaning, rude and mostly used to stereotype and categorize people in a negative way. The most offensive thing about this word? It is used by the very person who it is belittling. Yes – you and I use this word to put ourselves down or in a very tiny box. We can’t blame anyone else but ourselves. Oh – you want to know what the word is.

Just.

As in “I’m just a receptionist”…or “I’m just a mom”…or “I’m just a nursery worker.”

“Just” has a first-cousin word – “only” – which we also use frequently.

“I’ve only got a high school education.” “I’ve only been a Christian for a year.” “I only know how to bake cakes from a box mix.”

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Some of us are so good at using these two words that we put them together as in…”I’ve only just learned how to (fill in the blank)”…or “I’m only just a (another blank).”

Side note: I could take a whole different blog for those of you who use these two words to back away from responsibility but not today. You’re welcome.

Let’s do ourselves a favor. In a world full of people more than willing to denigrate and disparage us in our jobs, our roles, our talents and skills, why not cut ourselves some slack. Let’s love ourselves and begin to use uplifting and encouraging language when we describe who we are. When you’re tempted to say “I’m just a mom,” remember that makes you a cook, maid, teacher, nurse, referee, chauffeur, security officer, handyman and personal assistant (and a hundred more titles). You may want to update your resume.

Just take a minute to re-wire your thinking about yourself. It isn’t about what you DO anyway. It’s about who you ARE. Look at yesterday’s blog if you need a reminder.

Just be yourself – only yourself. You are amazing. Just amazing.

Who Am I?

YouGoGirl

I was recently asked to be the speaker at an upcoming homeschooling moms’ getaway. Truly humbled and honored, I’ve been attempting to come up with a bio the organizers could use for their brochure. Something short and pithy – humorous but elaborate. Something that would make someone want to come hear me. I got nothing.

Then I decided to try some free writing – not worrying about length or breadth or scope or humor or grammar and punctuation. It’s way too long for their purposes but hey – that’s what blogging is for, right? To give anybody an opportunity to write, knowing it probably won’t be read anyway.

Kris McGarvey – Who Am I?

I’m a former homeschooling mom and currently helping my husband as the president of WFM Missions Base in Robins.

I love trying new restaurants, reading stuff, experimenting with new tastes & recipes, learning how to run, walking for great coffee, setting new goals and then pushing past my self-imposed limitations, endeavoring to avoid saying “I can’t” until I’ve at least tried, travelling outside my comfortability (and making up words that my spell-checker doesn’t appreciate…like comfortability).

I’m loving the journey, embracing my own adventures, not particularly a lover of danger but thrilled with discovering the hidden treasures of life like small consignment stores, coffee shops and people’s stories.

I’m an amateur writer but a professional list-maker. I love shoes and the color purple (not the book, never read it). I say I’m silver-haired (because grey-haired sounds too old). I’m a novice runner but an elite chocolate and coffee consumer. I love lots of genres of music (and I really like the word “genre”) – hymns, worship, jazz, folk, singer-songwriter stuff and catchy pop tunes like “Happy.” I’ve never seen the movie “Frozen” and don’t know any of the lyrics to “Let It Go” and I’m okay with that. I enjoy a good guitar or piano solo but I’m learning the nuances of a really great drummer. I love the band NEEDTOBREATHE and don’t mind it when people call me a “groupie.” My kids don’t because I take them to concerts with me. They are not dumb.

I’ve embraced social media for the platform it gives me to stay connected to family and friends around the world and to encourage those who need someone on their side, someone who can say with confidence – “Trust Him – this too shall pass.”

I’m a sports junkie. If it gets played with a ball, I probably like it. Even curling and it’s played with a rock. I watch golf tournaments on TV with my family like others do the Super Bowl (snacks and everything). Though my 3 guys and I split up our loyalties to cheer for different teams (Hawks, Illini, Cubs, Cardinals, Rams, Falcons, Bears, Lakers, Nets, Bulls) – we do agree on one thing – we think Zach Johnson is awesome. I do live to see the Cubs in the World Series, so I may be immortal, not sure.

I love superheroes…they really exist and I’m pretty sure I’m married to one. I try to be a good sidekick to my phenomenally intelligent husband and I appreciate that he keeps me around to take care of those mundane things like computers, phones, taxes, and cleaning the bathroom (though I’m not very good with that last one).

I’m privileged to have birthed two sons – both of which are so much like their parents that they scare me, and yet so different from each other. They each amaze me with their maturity, wisdom, sense of humor and discernment, despite their upbringing. They are gifted with creativity, although it usually plays out in different areas. They both love fiercely and I’m proud to be on the receiving end of it.

I’m not perfect and I’m not trying to be. I’ve decided that life is too much fun and there’s just so much to do, that I can’t allow others’ expectations to rob me of my joy in discovery.

Most of all, I’m a lover of Jesus. He gives me life and breath and joy and unconditional love and grace and mercy. He picks me up when circumstances pull me under. He laughs with me and listens to me and holds me. He dries my tears and grins at my attempts at humor. He whispers to me in the night and shows me great and mighty things. He says he’ll be with me through anything, so I know I can be brave and try, because I won’t be alone. He tells me to “dream big” and then takes me outside my comfortability and shows me the stars in an endless sky. Most of the time He just blows me away.

What is the difference between living and existing?

Existing = breathing, eating, sleeping, drinking water. Operating with a bare minimum of effort in order to keep yourself from death.

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Living = All of the above on steroids PLUS:

Embracing life head on.

Choosing risk and change over ruts and routine.

Giving more than taking.

Trusting your heart to someone.

Risking more than playing safe.

Running forward more than stepping back.

Changing more than being complacent.

Knowing you are only one breath from death so committing to breathe deeply.

Loving people and using things, not the other way around.

Courage in place of fear.

Listening at least twice as much as speaking.

Authenticity, not fake “How are you’s”.

Thanksgiving in a world of complaints and whining.

Forgiving over harboring hurts and grudges.

Allowing love over suffering indifference.

Laughter over silence.

Dancing over standing still.

Learning something new each day – and then passing it on to someone else.

Lifting your face into the wind, accepting with laughter and enthusiasm all that life throws your way.

Too many people only exist. How sad.

Seize life!

Legacy of Hate – Power of Love

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Two well-known evangelists died within the last two weeks.

Both evangelized the world with their beliefs. One was known for loving and sacrificing everything to tell all about the love of Jesus. The other was known for spewing hate and rhetoric about the judgment and wrath of his god. Steve Hill taught us to love all people, regardless of background or lifestyle. Fred Phelps taught us to hate everyone who doesn’t look or act like him.

It’s sad that the hater is going to get more press than the lover but the squeaky wheel always gets the attention. Rev. Phelps and his family comprise the Westboro Baptist Church. They are well known for picketing funerals of war veterans, and a variety of other venues – anywhere they can scream and spew and spit (on camera, of course). They hold up nasty signs and shake their fists at the world. I’m not going to get into details because the internet is full of articles in case you’ve been living under a rock for the last few years.

My last blog post was about the effect Steve Hill’s “yes” to God had upon my family and the world. What about Fred Phelps? Did he truly believe he was saying “yes” to a mandate from God? Probably. But that is not the God I know and love, the God who loves me and everyone else in the world. Rev. Phelps gave the words Christian, Baptist and church a really bad name. The media will make much of his legacy of hate but now he’s gone and we’re still here. We can choose to truly be God’s hands, and feet, and voice of love.  My God sent His only Son because He loves all of us. That’s a message too long stomped upon by the Fred Phelps’ of this world. It’s time I stepped up – time I was brave in the face of adversity and showed the authentic love of Christ…even to those who don’t look like me, act like me, or even like me. We’ve got a lot of lies about God to overcome – not by words, or signs, or social media – but by demonstrating the sacrificial love of Jesus. Steve Hill gave us an amazing example. Here’s to another “yes, God.”