Taking a long look in the mirror today. Probably should do it more often. I have a problem and except for God, no one can help me solve it. My problem is pride.

As a wife, mom, ministry leader, co-worker, I need to know about a lot of things. People count on me to keep track of details and schedules, managing minuscule bits of information for later retrieval. The problem is I think I need to know a lot about everything…things that are none of my business. I think about how I would solve a certain problem, and tell others my way. I think about how I would respond to someone’s issue, and then communicate it, even though it’s none of my concern. I poke my nose into other people’s problems and most are too nice to tell me to “butt out.”

I have a tendency to think my way of doing things, saying things, thinking things, is always the best way. Pride is a beautiful, ugly monster. The two-sided coin of believing in myself, but knowing I am but clay in the hands of the Master Potter. My trust cannot be in my own abilities, but in the Creator God who formed me in my mother’s womb. Ego is necessary for life…but without that mirror of self-reflection, it becomes a weapon of destruction.

Dan Rockwell writes a daily leadership blog that I find fascinating. His blog on the 10 Practices of Humility for Egotistical Leaders is one I need to read at least once a month. Probably should post it around my house and office too. He begins with the six symptoms of egotistical leadership…things like: ego thinks “I” and “me”…ego can’t be wrong…ego dismisses criticism and correction…and my personal favorite (cringe)…ego listens with a personal agenda. “What’s in it for me? How does this make me look? Who can I blame?”

So today I’m looking in the mirror – truly seeing the pride that has become a problem in all facets of my life and asking God to forgive me, give me a new heart of humility, to serve others before myself, to show Jesus to the people I’m surrounded by every day. I pray He shows me people I need to apologize to – for offending them – even unintentionally. I’m hoping He gives me opportunity to shine His light on others. Am I self-serving or others-serving? Because if I’m a leader, a co-worker, wife, mom, or “whatever” – I need to think “you”…not “me.”