Tag Archives: Jesus

Life Sucks Sometimes (Remix)

sorrow_longing_tears______by_Westia

(Note: A year ago I wrote the following article and it received the most views of any blog I had ever written, including any since then. Because it’s Black Saturday – that day of sorrow between Good Friday and Easter – and because recently so many friends are going through this grief journey, I’m reposting.)

I’m on my next to last “blogging through the 40-days of Lent” adventure. Today’s topic is hard. A lot of the other blog posts have had some difficulty, but this one today – giving up sorrow – is tougher than most. Because how can I presume to tell you how to grieve or when to stop. So I won’t. But I will encourage you not to allow sorrow to overwhelm you (forever). To choose to step outside your sadness for a few minutes each day…until you can look and see the deep grief is behind you.

I have a dear friend who lost the love of her life last summer. He had been ill and yet the suddenness of his passing was a shock to all of us. He was a wonderful man, loved and respected by so many…a great husband, father and grandfather as well as a supportive and generous friend to me and my family. The grief has been overwhelming for his wife, children and grandchildren. But each one has taken the baby steps necessary to continue to live their lives and honor the memory of this dear man.

My friend shared some of her grieving process with me. Losing a husband is different than losing a parent. The “oneness” feels broken. The grief includes anger, fear, sadness, loneliness, feelings of loss and even rejection. People’s attempts to comfort her often left her emptier, not encouraged; sadder, not exhorted. “You’ll always have your memories” turned into a trite phrase because it’s the remembering that hurts the most.

So, for those of you who are “walking through the shadow of death,” please know that “life sucks sometimes.” (Thank you, Ben Rector, for those poignant and truthful words.) We must keep going – we have responsibilities, we have people who count on us, we have a Father God who loves us unconditionally, even when the grief is so deep that you can’t get dressed or face another human being.

Try to get one thing done….mark one thing off your “to-do” list. Put sorrow away for a couple of minutes and face your day. Do a little more each day, or week, or month…than you did before. Meet someone for coffee. Write a few “thank you” notes. Bake a cake and take it to someone. Watch an episode of your favorite comedy and give yourself permission to laugh a little. Call someone you haven’t seen for a while. Read a new novel. Take a walk. Buy a new pair of shoes. Indulge in a rich, chocolatey dessert. Take a friend to a movie. Pray for someone else who’s facing a similar situation.

Jesus was a man of many sorrows, according to the prophet Isaiah. He knew suffering and grief. He knows your pain and sorrow. Lean into His grace today. He’s more than enough.

A New Tradition

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Holidays are more than dates on a calendar. They are usually markers on a memory timeline and most families have at least one tradition for each major holiday. With Easter Sunday less than a week away, you have time to create a new memory, a special new tradition, to mark this very unique holiday.

Some families research and observe some or all of Holy Week, the eight days between Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday. You can google any one of the days of the week and find the unique observances surrounding each one. For instance, did you know that the Wednesday of Holy Week is often called “Spy Wednesday?” This day is observed by many Eastern Orthodox believers as the day Jesus was visiting Simon at his home in Bethany. While there, Mary anointed Jesus’ head and feet with costly perfume. Jesus’ disciples were indignant at the waste of money. Tradition says this was when Judas Iscariot decided to betray Jesus to the Sanhedrin (Mark 14:1-10).

Maundy Thursday commemorates Jesus’ last supper with his disciples. The word “maundy” is Latin and refers to the part of the evening when Jesus’ washed his disciples’ feet (John 13:1-17). The night concludes with a meal, which provides the scriptural basis for the Eucharist or Last Supper (Luke 22:7-23).

Good Friday always seemed a misnomer to me. It is the day Christians commemorate the crucifixion of Jesus on Calvary (Matthew 27). In many areas of the world it is a legal holiday, including 12 U.S. states. Why is it called “good?” There are disagreements about the exact meaning, but many believe the “good” simply meant “pious” or “holy.”

Johnny Hart, Good Friday 2

Most Protestants don’t observe it, but Catholics often refer to the next day of the week as “Black Saturday.” There are unique traditions for both western and eastern Christian religions for this day.

Of course, the celebrations abound on Easter, beginning with sunrise services in many churches. New clothes, egg hunts, baskets filled with gifts and candy, joyful hymns declaring Jesus is alive! He is risen from the dead! (Matthew 28:1-15)

What a great season to start a new tradition in your family. Observe a Maundy Thursday or Good Friday service in a different church than what you are used to…Give Easter baskets to a women’s shelter or orphanage…send Easter cards to servicemen and women…Read the scriptural accounts of Holy Week to your kids, celebrating each day as Jesus may have…Have a foot-washing service with your small group…Participate in communion on Thursday night.

Enjoy this spring time holiday as you never have before ~ create something fresh and new or resurrect a family tradition from your own past. Either way, make a memory to last a lifetime.

Get Your Mountain Climbing Gear On

Willie Robertson

My husband and I had the opportunity to attend this morning’s Good Friday Prayer Breakfast in downtown Cedar Rapids. It was held in the newly-renovated DoubleTree Hotel in their very large convention center…and it was packed. I’d like to think it was because the people of Cedar Rapids recognize the importance of prayer, or the significance of this day in the life of Christians, or that we love to get together with one another to seek the Presence of God. And maybe all those things are true, but I really think that today, that huge convention center was filled because the special speaker was Willie Robertson.

Unless you have lived under a rock for the last few years, most of you know Willie Robertson as the star of the cable TV reality show “Duck Dynasty.” He says he’s known more as Sadie’s dad. Sadie Robertson is his teenage daughter who competed on ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars,” throughout the competition standing firm in her belief in modesty and purity. She seems to be a very sweet girl and I’m sure Willie and his wife Korie are very proud of her. The various members of the Robertson family are admittedly redneck, quirky, and entertaining. I first heard about their TV show from the woman who cuts my husband’s hair. My sons started watching and soon after, we did too. It’s a scripted reality show, meaning there is a definite plot to each episode though the family members don’t consider themselves actors and most notably, each episode ends with the family sitting around a large table with patriarch Phil saying grace before they eat together. Each show has a moral and it’s usually Willie who serves as narrator. Each member of the Robertson family is an outspoken follower of Jesus and has never apologized for their show or their stance on moral issues.

The other main speaker this morning was Willie’s friend, Governor Bobby Jindal of Louisiana. Gov. Jindal is another strong believer in Jesus Christ and freely gives his testimony. He’s a pretty smart guy too, having completed a Rhodes Scholarship from Oxford University, specializing in health care systems. Though he has not announced a run for the presidential race in 2016, he visits Iowa a lot.

I could say a bit about Willie’s and Bobby’s remarks from this morning. And though both had great messages to the assembled Christians, I was most encouraged by something they never really said. I was encouraged to listen to two men who have gone against the established precedent and are scaling mountains formerly held only by non-believers in Jesus. You see, often we, as Christians, are told to concentrate our efforts on the church, on ministry. We esteem pastors, missionaries and evangelists for speaking out about Christ but we never acknowledge the day-to-day efforts of Joe and Janet, Rick and Laurie, Susie and Adam…those people who head out the door to work in hospitals, businesses, government buildings, or schools, or those moms who stay home every day to raise up godly sons and daughters. We’ve given up ground to our culture in past years by not encouraging our kids to reach beyond religious ministry and embrace who God made them to be – actors, congressmen, judges, scientists, teachers, entrepreneurs, musicians. People like Willie Robertson and his family will reach people for Jesus who will never enter a church or listen to a televangelist. Government leaders like Bobby Jindal have people who watch him closely…what better way to live for God than in that microscope called a presidential campaign.

I’m mostly encouraged because I can freely exhort my own two sons to pursue their dreams, no matter what they may be. Maybe it won’t be as a full time pastor, like their dad. But maybe it’ll be as a journalist who travels the globe, living for God and reaching people his mom and dad never would. Maybe it’ll be as a musician who writes songs and performs for audiences who would never listen to a spoken sermon. Push your kids to live their dreams while living for Jesus. Let’s be salt and light in a world that needs the flavoring influence of Christ.

I Can Do It Myself!

I can do it myself

If you’re a parent, you’ve heard this at least once, but probably more like 100 times however many children you have. We want our children to learn new things, gain confidence in their abilities and eventually head out on their own as self-sufficient adults. But that phrase “I can do it myself!” (at the top of his lungs) used to grate on my very last nerve. Maybe I was attempting to teach him how to tie his shoes, or make his bed, or do the dishes, or learn a new math concept. Only took one time and then he was an expert and I heard “I Can Do It Myself!” In all probability, the shoelaces would fall apart, the comforter covered up sheets still at the foot of the bed and the plates had bits of dried on egg. We all think we can do for ourselves when in actuality, we need God and we need each other.

The definition of “self-sufficient” actually means having extreme confidence in one’s own resources or powers. My job as a parent was to raise a dependent little boy into a self-sufficient young man. But we can’t forget that we are not to be self-sufficient in all things. Jesus told us He could do nothing by himself; He could do only what He saw the Father doing. If Jesus needs the Father, then how much more do I need Him?

Paul’s exhortation to the church in Corinth included a long passage about unity necessary in the Body of Christ. (1 Cor 12:12-13 – “Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.”)

If our mission is to love God and love others, then it’s not possible to live with self-sufficiency as our motto. I need you. You need me. We all need God. We are quick to quote Philippians 4:13 (“I can do all this through him who gives me strength”) when we’re in a pickle, but it’s a verse we also need to remember when we’re doing well. It is only through Christ that we can accomplish anything of value. Together, as one Body, so much more can be done for the cause of Christ. Today, I’m letting go of my self-sufficiency and embracing my need for God. I Can’t Do It By Myself!

It’s Ok to be Alone

Being alone

The topic of loneliness is often tied closely to depression and I am not qualified to offer any psychological advice. This is only my own observations on the topics of being alone, being lonely and ways to rid ourselves of loneliness. If you suffer with depression, please ask a licensed professional for help.

There is nothing wrong with being alone. Yes, I know what God told Adam in the Garden of Eden. See Genesis 2:18. But if there is not a “helper suitable” for you, being alone is better. Much better. Jumping into a relationship just so you won’t be alone isn’t a very good reason at all. You’ll just end up making both of you miserable.

Sometimes being alone is a very good idea. I have observed some couples who are together only because they aren’t comfortable with themselves as singles. They think they need someone in order to be “complete” or worse yet, because they don’t really like who they are and can’t stand the thought of being alone.

Being lonely is a whole ‘nuther ball game. Some of us are surrounded by people, can even be the life of the party, but feel lonely on the inside. Being lonely has nothing to do with being alone. For me, being lonely means I don’t have anyone in my life I can trust. Maybe no one I can really talk and confide in, no one who will just listen.

I saw a blog today about loneliness. The author, Jodi Aman, gave three ways to stop feeling lonely. First, she says you need to reach out to someone. Often when we feel lonely, we withdraw and get away from people. But push against that natural inclination and get out there. Go see someone, no matter how much you don’t want to. Make a coffee date, watch kids play at the park, do something that puts you in the presence of another human being.

Aman’s second suggestion for combating loneliness is to do something with purpose. Tackle a project which will make you feel good. Maybe it could be something as simple as picking up trash at the park or serving meals at the homeless shelter. Often seeing someone else’s troubles make mine look pretty trivial. Volunteer at an animal shelter or work in the church nursery. Offer your neighbor a ride to church or youth group. See how others live and invest in someone else.

And thirdly, improve your relationship with yourself. Get honest with yourself and look in the mirror. Is that person so hard to love? Do the things I accept about myself speak truth or lies about me?

Do you like who you are when no one else is around? I hope so. If not, you need to make the necessary changes so you like who God made you to be. And I don’t mean your physical body, though maybe there are some changes you can make to your lifestyle to feel better about your body. But mostly, it’s about liking the person you are on the inside. Maybe you’ve believed things spoken over you and need to re-think what the real truth is about who you are. Parents, teachers, or friends may have said hurtful things to you and over time you’ve begun to think those same things. Do something just for you. Get a pedicure, go see a movie by yourself, learn a new hobby, start a fitness program. Choose to be satisfied with just being alone.

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Jesus often took himself away from his disciples and the crowds so he could think and pray. He needed that “alone time” to recharge his batteries, to face the task God had given him to do, to hear from God and get refreshed in the Father’s presence. I hope you do the same thing. Take time to get alone with God. He will speak only truth to you. He loves you just as you are. There are no changes necessary to come into His Presence. It’s a place of peace, security, love and acceptance.

The Power of One

Friends united

As a parent, I know how powerful my relationship with my husband is when it comes to dealing with our children. It doesn’t take a kid very long the try the old “if Mom says ‘no,’ get to Dad before she does” move. Don and I learned early on to communicate with each other regularly and present a united front to our boys. Our unified front brought a measure of peace and security, even though the guys may have thought differently at the time.

In the account of the building of the Tower of Babel in Genesis 11, prior to confusing the languages, God talks to the others in the Trinity (notice use of word “us”) saying, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.” (Gen. 11:6) What an illustration of the power in unity!

Romans 15:5-6 – “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

If I’m causing division by my words, then I am definitely not participating in a spirit of unity and absolutely not giving glory to God. Unity is a necessity to live a life worthy of my calling. Unity brings maturity. I challenge you to look at your words and actions when it comes to other believers. Do you talk down about someone in another denomination? Do you make fun of someone’s beliefs because you don’t understand it or believe it yourself? Am I guilty of picking apart a church’s Tenets of Faith because it doesn’t include everything mine does? Am I guilty of causing division, even in little things like my one-on-one conversations with others?

I challenge you to read Ephesians 4:1-15 – a large commentary by Paul on living in unity. I am a part of the Body of Christ. I can’t be in disunity with other body parts or my goal to tell the world of Jesus will be worthless.

Colossians 2:2-3  – “My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.”

Chaos is default. Unity takes work and determination and love. It’s a choice. Maybe the reason we can’t understand all of what God wants to do in the Earth is because we kill our wounded. Maybe the reason these other world religions are growing is because they don’t see anything in us as believers in Christ that would cause them to want to be a part of what we have. We need to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. We need to forgive each other and choose to love. That will unite us all. (BTW – thats Colossians 3:12-14)

You is smart. You is kind. You is important.

The-Most-Destructive-Words

“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” What a lie. A big fat lie. Words can cause greater damage than any stick or stone.

We often believe what we hear about ourselves, especially if the speaker is someone in authority or someone we trust or admire. Parents, siblings, other family members, teachers, coaches…even ourselves. I’ve found in my tutoring of students of all ages that my toughest job is getting them to believe in themselves after hearing things like “You can’t” or “You’re dumb” or “You’ll never…” for far too long.

Two solutions.

First, don’t destroy others with your words. Be an encourager, a cheerleader. Don’t bad mouth someone, or be nasty or rude. Avoid saying (or typing in your status bar) anything destructive or negative about another person. No matter who they are. No matter their political party or religious denomination. No matter what you perceive they think of you or have done to you. A well known person once said, “Father, forgive them. They don’t know what they are doing.” Good advice for all of us.

Secondly, do not disparage or bad mouth yourself…not your mind or intelligence, your emotions or your physical body. No matter what someone else has ever said about you…You are smart. You are kind. You are important.

God’s Word is full of His words of unconditional love and acceptance of who you are. Are you calling God a liar? Start reading through Proverbs and inserting your name.

“The speech of KRIS is worth waiting for…” (Proverbs 10:20a) Or “The speech of KRIS clears the air…” (Proverbs 10:32a) Or “The words of the wicked kill; the speech of KRIS saves.” (Proverbs 12:6) One of my favorites is Proverbs 16:24 – “Kris’ gracious speech is like clover honey – good taste to the soul, quick energy for the body.”

I’m attaching the link for a more in depth article about the power of our words if you need more convincing but this Scripture from James states it pretty clearly.

“It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.” (James 3:5-6 MSG)

The Never Ending Pursuit of Happiness

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My 40-day blogging adventure continues today with help from my extremely intelligent and handsome husband Don. More from him later. Read on.

Today I’m going to try to stop. I’m going to stop chasing after something fleeting and start going after the eternal. Today I’m going to give up my pursuit of happiness….again.

Almost any American elementary child can tell you where the phrase “the pursuit of Happiness” was first introduced to us. It’s a phrase in the United States Declaration of Independence and is one of three examples of “unalienable rights” which the document says has been God-given to all humans, and which governments were created to protect.

Rabbit Trail Alert! Made me think a bit about what constitutes “happiness.” What makes me happy may not do a thing for you. And I know there are certain people out there who pursue their own brand of happiness in the form of physical and emotional abuse, and worse. Did God give us this right to pursue happiness? This blog could go on forever debating that question…so I’ll just let you ponder it on your own.

Back to stopping my own pursuit of happiness.

My happiness changes with the wind, or my mood, or my circumstances, or my financial situation, or my comfort level, or the weather, or my expectations. I’ve decided I spend way too much energy pursuing such a fleeting and capricious emotion. Happy is a catchy song (Thank you Pharrell Williams) but it isn’t so easy to catch in real life.

Here’s where my husband’s wisdom and insight come in. He writes a weekly Bible study and is currently working through the book of Hosea. Don prefaces the following remarks with an introduction to Hosea 9:1-9, saying the prophet Hosea, under the direction of the Holy Spirit provides a list of four things which the nation of Israel will lose because of their sin.

“The first thing lost due to their sinfulness was “joy.” Joy is more than emotion. Joy is the presence of God in our lives. Joy is something that comes from God, not from something external in our life. Joy and happiness are often mistaken for one another but it’s just not so. Joy is something deep down inside which is not controlled by circumstances as happiness is. I can be made happy by circumstances or by something someone else does. But Joy is something which transcends circumstances or the behavior of others.

God is more than our “source” of joy. God is our joy. As we walk with Him, no matter the circumstances we will have joy. The closer we get to Him, the more joy we will know.

Joy is something the world cannot give us nor can the world take it away.” Don McGarvey – Thursday Night Bible Study, study of Hosea. If this piques your interest, check out Don’s Bible Study on Facebook.

And how about pursuing the fruit of the Spirit which, in addition to joy, include love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control?

Or how about just pursuing Jesus and everything else…everything of little to no importance falls away.

“It’s who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That’s the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration.” (John 4:23-24 – MSG)

Jesus is really all I need to pursue. Because…and this is the cool part…He’s pursuing me!

Giving Up on Giving Up

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Ever had one of those days? You know what I mean – When you feel forgotten and alone? When you can’t seem to get anything right? When your dreams look as far away as ever? Yeah. Me too. Let’s give up.

When I first started running last spring I had a lot of ‘Let’s give up’ moments. Pretty minor in the whole big picture of life, but I knew it was a small test I wanted to pass. I wasn’t going to give up on my goals even though it was difficult. My parents, especially my dad, always told me I could do whatever I put my mind to. I’m not sure that is always true but his affirmation of me helped shaped my mindset about what I can and cannot accomplish. As parents, my husband and I have always tried to instill a “don’t give up” mentality in our boys. When we signed up for a sport, we made them stick it out, even if they didn’t like it. And not just because “we paid for it, you’ll do it.” It’s important to develop perseverance – a character trait sometimes lacking in our culture today.

I came across a lot of quotes about giving up. Here’s a small sampling:

“You cry and you scream and you stomp your feet and you shout. You say, ‘You know what? I’m giving up, I don’t care.’ And then you go to bed and you wake up and it’s a brand new day, and you pick yourself back up again.” Nicole Scherzinger

“A winner is just a loser who tried one more time.” George M. Moore Jr. Member of US House of Representatives

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb

“Fall seven times and stand up eight.” Japanese proverb

“Each mistake teaches you something new about yourself. There is no failure, remember, except in no longer trying. It is the courage to continue that counts.” Chris Bradford, “The Way of the Sword”

Winston Churchill gave a commencement speech at his alma mater, Harrow School, in October 1941. Great Britain was embroiled in war with Germany. The British people were facing shortages of food, munitions and oil. The war was escalating and people were growing frightened of the uncertainty their nation faced. As Prime Minister, Churchill had attempted to negotiate with other world leaders, but without much success. The most memorable portion of this speech has been immortalized, but I would recommend reading the whole thing at some point in your life.

Never-Give-In

Of course, the best example of never giving up was Jesus. He faced what he knew would be an agonizing death by crucifixion, betrayed by someone he had lived with for three years, left alone to face these trials without his friends, seemingly cast aside by his Father God. Yet he didn’t give up. Though he had legions of angels at his command, he didn’t give up. Why? Because he loved me. If it had been only me, Jesus would still have gone to the cross. Just for me. And you.

Don’t give up. God hasn’t given up on you.

The Place for Hatred

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The word “hate” conjures up so many images. Just saying the word makes me think of anger and darkness. I can almost smell the fumes of brimstone and ash. Hatred is a very strong word. And we throw it around so carelessly.

“I hate lima beans.”

“I hate that reality show.”

“I hate her dress.”

“I hate my life.”

After some pondering and Scripture-searching, I’ve decided there are two sides to hatred. We need to stop using it nonchalantly. There is no place for the word “hate” when we are referring to a person. God calls us to love each other, even to love our enemies (Matthew 5:43-48 Read it in the Message – powerful stuff). Though the Psalms are rife with references to “hating our enemies,” the New Testament arrival of Jesus puts into perspective how much God loves all of us, no matter our political party affiliation, religion, or sexual orientation. I’m not where I need to be yet – but I’m facing the right direction. I desire to choose love over hate, every time.

But there is a place for hatred. We need to hate how we treat each other. We need to hate how we treat ourselves. We need to hate sin, all sin, the way God does. And sin means more than just what you don’t like.

Paul gives a great list of behavior and attitudes we should hate: “It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.” (Galatians 5:19-21 The Message)

So hate what deserves your hatred…and then choose to love.