Tag Archives: identity

Day 17 – Who Are You?

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Do you remember The Who’s song “Who Are You?” I’m old enough to know it from the initial release in 1978 (high school graduation year) but I sing it more because it was the opening theme song for the “CSI” TV series. Of course, I only know the opening lines: Who are you? Who, who, who, who?…repeat indefinitely. You are now singing it in your head, aren’t you? You’re welcome.

But this could also be my theme song every day…or at least a question I should ask myself frequently. Who are you, Kris…who, who, who, who?

Who are you when:

  • you stub your toe in the dark
  • that crazy driver cuts you off on the interstate
  • someone unfriends you on Facebook
  • you bomb that job interview
  • there are 20 people in the only open Wal-Mart checkout lane
  • a mole wreaks havoc through your lawn
  • an “overdraft” notice arrives
  • your identity information is hacked
  • ugly rumors about your pastor reach your ears
  • your husband watches TV while you clean the house
  • the church committee didn’t ask for your help
  • your favorite (fill in the blank) comes up missing
  • a deer sideswipes your car
  • you get caught by the red light cameras
  • you miss a deadline
  • the scale shows five pounds more than yesterday
  • the dishwasher floods the kitchen

We don’t need more examples…pretty sure you get my drift.

Who I am is what’s on the inside that comes out during times of stress, or disappointment, or rejection, or pain, or normal living of your everyday life. Although I love being on the mountain top, I become the real “me” in the valleys of life. And sometimes, I don’t like what comes out of me. Sometimes I see the ugliness of gossip, shame, condemnation, rejection, self-hate, and impatience.

However, I want to welcome these wake up calls. Because if I don’t see the yuck inside occasionally, I won’t ever be able to clean my house. If I don’t recognize the nastiness inside, I’ll keep going along, thinking I’m just fine, so fine.

Don and I had a wonderful mentor who told us often:

“CharacteCB063014r is what happens when someone tips over your coffee cup.”

Who are you? I hope you find out today.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
    and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” Psalm 139:23-24

So You Think You’re Not Good Enough?

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guilt-and-unworthiness

Day Three – Packing Up My Feelings of Unworthiness

I have to admit I have a pretty healthy self-image. I don’t really struggle with feeling unworthy of love. But I know a lot of people who do – women and men. Maybe it’s because I received a lot of affirmation as a child and even now as a middle-aged adult (Hey – I’m going to live to be 110, ok?). My parents always told me they loved me, they hugged and kissed us as kids (and adults). My dad constantly told me I could do anything I put my mind to. I receive a lot of encouragement from my husband, friends and employers. They seem to have faith and trust in me, and I try to show the same to others in my circle of influence.

But maybe you don’t have that support. Why do some of us feel unworthy of love and acceptance? Maybe you didn’t have anyone show you love or tell you in ways you understood (see “Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman). Maybe we’ve judged ourselves unworthy because of what we see on the outside, using cultural standards of beauty. We buy into a false reality when we believe what the magazine covers and cosmetic ads tell us about beauty. If we believe the romance novels and the movie plot lines, we would never feel “good enough” to be worthy of anything.

In case you don’t realize it – Your identity comes from what God has done for you and He says you are worthy. Here are a few things you need to remind yourself of…and saying them out loud helps a lot!

*I am accepted.
*I am secure.
*I am significant.
*I have value.
*I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
*I have been chosen by God.
*I am God’s friend.
*I have been bought with a price and I belong to God.
*I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus.
*I am born of God.
*I have been given a spirit of power, love and a sound mind.
*I am God’s workmanship.
*I am a citizen of heaven.
*I have been established, anointed and sealed by God.
*I am being transformed into Jesus’ likeness.

This whole list is in Scripture so if you want the exact references, let me know. There’s a whole bunch more too!

So – remember this. Your identity, your feelings of worth, do not come from your name, your heritage, your circumstances, your children, your job, your talents (or lack), your address, or what people say about you. God says your beauty comes not from your outward appearance but from your inner self, “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:4)

Oh boy – I really need to work on that gentle and quiet thing.