Don’t you hate it when someone criticizes something you’ve done, or how you look, or a decision you made. My normal response is hackles up, assume a defensive position, and interrupt their opinion to defend my own. And it really doesn’t matter if the criticism is valid or not – I get defensive. But, the older I get, the more I’m trying (key word here) to see the truth within the criticism.

Let’s be clear first – Joe Blow doesn’t have permission to rail on my decisions. For any criticism to be analyzed for grains (or more) of truth, I need it delivered by someone I trust, someone I believe has my best interests at heart. The opinion of someone yelling at me from a car as I’m walking down the street, telling me my coat color is ugly, isn’t given much weight. So what do I care what you think of my coat color. But…if my husband says he’s not a big fan, or he doesn’t think that color does anything for my skin, then…I may take it into account. Easy example to offer since I know my husband would never comment on my coat color.

Trust comes first. Then, when a criticism is offered, instead of turning into Mike Singletary, I need to respond with respect, offer a “thank you for your opinion,” and take a moment to see if some truth exists within. There usually is. Because I can always improve, I can always grow, and if I dismiss all criticism as invalid, I’ll never get further than where I am right now.

Today’s Leadership Freak blog had a statement that caused me think:

The opposite of defensiveness is vulnerability.

How vulnerable am I willing to be to grow – as a mom, wife, teacher, co-worker, leader, Jesus-follower? The author included list of eight sentences which accelerate personal and professional growth:

1. I’m not great at everything.
2. I aspire to improve.
3. I’m not as smart as I think I am.
4. I’m not as right as I think I am.
5. I could be wrong.
6. Gee! Other people are better than me at some things.
7. They could be right.
8. Maybe there’s another way.

I do know there is no perfect person, least of all me. Looking forward to another growth period and maybe it’ll come through criticism.