Tag Archives: choices

Stretching Your Brain

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It’s a sunny Saturday. I’ve already been out for tea at the local coffee shop with my friend, and walked through WalMart getting a few necessaries. We have a birthday party to drop into this afternoon and another errand or two to get done before the day slips away. The pork shoulder is humming along in the Crock Pot and I’m learning how to upload my first video on YouTube.

Uh – what?

Yes – I am almost in my 60s and I’m learning something new today. Don and I try to learn new things every day…maybe not all as ambitious as establishing a YouTube channel and uploading videos, but new to us, nonetheless. We enjoy learning new vocabulary words, especially those that we can use in sermons or conversations. We enjoy using new vegetables in our cooking, or trying new recipes. We cooked bangers and mash for the first time on St. Patrick’s Day.

Recently Don learned more than he wanted to about home repair. Maybe not his favorite activity, but he did it and admits he learned a lot. Installing new windows, creating window wells, fixing sump pumps, replacing a ceiling fan and faucet…Admittedly, the learning is more enjoyable when you choose it, rather than it choosing you.

Rotary phoneSome of us think we’re too old (or too dumb) to learn new things, but I think that’s either a lie you’ve believed or a lazy way to live life. I’m sure you don’t still have a rotary dial telephone or a TV without a remote control. Along the line you’ve learned to use an electric stove and a gas washer and dryer. Maybe you’re really daring, using a smartphone with wifi, sharing iPhone photos of the grandkids on Facebook.

We all must learn new things every day or we’ll die. We’ll be left in the dust of technology and we’ll be boring in conversations. I found a fun and informative blog from a few years ago that shows why new things will enliven our lives, and ways to learn new things  right now via apps and the internet…ways to keep your brain alive and alert. YouTube is full of how-to tutorials, from how to upload your first video (that’s me!) to how to tie a tie or make slime. There are DIY channels to learn a new home or cooking skill, books to read on herbs to plant or window boxes to make. I’m not talking about learning a new language or how to play a musical instrument. It’s the small, incremental steps that make your life interesting…it all starts with making the choice. And NOT believing the lie that you can’t because of…(insert your excuse).

Worst enemyWhat new thing will you learn today?

Choosing Well

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Every day we wake up to choices. Get out of bed or stay in? Bath or shower? Coffee or tea or water or…? Read my Bible or watch TV? Workout or sleep longer? Go to work or call in sick? 

Each choice brings a set of consequences, some immediate and some we won’t feel for a long time. Some consequences are the result of years of choices, made well or made poorly. For instance, the dark chocolate M&Ms I’m currently munching on give me short term happiness, but long term weight gain issues. Obviously I’m choosing instant gratification over long term consequences. 

View from a Cedar Rapids skywalk


Despite the rainy, gray spring day in Iowa, I chose to take a long walk today. I knew I may be uncomfortable in the short term, but glad for my choice later in the day when my Fitbit celebrates 10,000 steps. 

Tonight our children’s midweek church program ends until September. Though each adult helper I’ve talked to seems glad for the break in activities, I know each made the choice to serve in this area because of the long term consequences in the lives of these precious children. They know their choice to help in music or crafts or youth may not reap rewards today, but each child encouraged or fed or loved on will benefit for years to come. 

How are you doing on your choices today? Settling for the short term, or banking rewards for the future gain? 

Choose well. 

“I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I have set my heart on your laws.” Psalm 119:30

#DoHardThings

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Ledge

My definition of “Hard Things”:

  • It must cause you to make a decision you may never have made before.
  • It must move you outside a comfort zone, a rut or a routine.
  • It must cause your heart to flutter or better yet, race.
  • It must make you learn something new about yourself.

Some examples of “Hard Things”:

  • Getting a new job in a different field (or city or country) because it’s your passion and you’ve put it off long enough.
  • Taking a trip by yourself to a place you’ve never been but always wanted to go (may involve going through customs or a foreign language).
  • Adopting a healthier lifestyle and all the food choices, or workout commitments, which that entails.
  • Changing your “look” because, seriously, high school was like, 30 years ago.
  • Engaging someone new in a conversation about them (not you) and by conversation, I mean, they talk and you listen.
  • Volunteering somewhere you are not comfortable (cleaning pens at the animal shelter, building houses for Habitat for Humanity, serving meals to the homeless, teaching children Bible stories, changing dirty diapers in the church nursery, etc.).
  • Stretching your physical abilities until you have new physical abilities.

Please feel free to add more examples in the comments section.

One “hard thing” I try to do periodically (and sorry, it never gets easier) – I play detective on myself. I ask myself questions like: Why do I choose “easy” when accomplishing something “hard” gives me such a rush? Why haven’t I learned a new skill or taken up a new hobby lately? Why do I sit back and allow others to experience inspiring adventures? Why do I get defensive when someone suggests a new perspective?

Therefore, my summer will be filled with “hard things” – saying “no” to sweet treats and beautiful carbs…hiking up and down hills until I’m sweaty and out of breath (and then doing it again)…carving out time to sit and listen to others (without giving advice or inserting my own story)…writing this blog (even when I don’t feel like it).

For some of you, my “hard things” may seem smooth and simple. And your “hard things” may appear effortless for me. I don’t have any problem speaking in front of groups of people, but others find it heartstoppingly difficult. I love learning stuff about technology – others would just as soon throw their computer against the wall.

The important thing is to make the decision and then follow through. And let’s encourage each other. If you’re attempting to accomplish something difficult, let’s hear about it. Either put it in the comments section of this blog, or on my Facebook post. Use the hashtag #DoHardThings and together we can all cheer you on.

BTW – there is a pretty good book entitled “Do Hard Things” written by a couple of homeschool kids a few years ago about teenagers rebelling against low expectations. I liked it. You may also.

Kickstarting Summer

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This is going to be a great summer! I’ve set some lofty goals, anticipating some pretty awesome results and all while enjoying my husband, my family and my friends. But it won’t be easy…because what’s the fun in that?

First, I’m joining with a long time girlfriend as we, once again, take control of ourselves and lose some extra poundage. We’ll be each other’s best cheerleader, motivator, inspiration and coach – all rolled into one dynamic package…actually two dynamic packages, I guess.It’s so easy to get off the path of healthy choices and slip down the slope into JunkFood Jungle. “But it tastes so good!” Yes, it does, but that momentary pleasure usually gives way a short time later to guilt, shame and condemnation – the Three Ugly Stepsisters. No thank you!

Bible_blogpostWe’re going to go through Donna Partow‘s “Becoming the Woman I Want to Be,” the book I used three years ago to get started on my 30-pound weight loss. Great time to crack it open again and get back on track… This isn’t solely about physical changes, but discovering a plan to renew myself spiritually and emotionally as well. Of course, today was the day my office served Panera for lunch and dropped a 25-box of chocolate cookies in the lunchroom. Great way to get started – No! No! No! I’m so weak – but so far, so good.

Another goal is getting back into the Word, regularly. I don’t know why this is a struggle for me, but I’m being vulnerable here…I love God’s Word but I can be easily distracted by louder, yet less important, things. So this summer – the Bible is the first thing I’ll read – even if it’s not until my lunch break.

I’m scheduled to backpack the Sierras with my older brother in early September so another goal is to get in hiking shape…which, I suspicion, is quite different from sidewalks-through-downtown-Cedar-Rapids walking. I’ve borrowed a couple of library books, researched hiking boots and proper backpacks, priced flights to Sacramento and prayed for wisdom on how to record this whole amazing journey without electronic gadgets.

Lastly, I’m going to attempt to blog throughout the summer – at least on Mondays and maybe more. You’ve been warned. You may want to set your own goal of getting off social media for a short time, or cutting back on unhealthy food choices, or spending more time playing (as opposed to working), or doing something you’ve put off because you never found the time to “git-r done.” Now’s the time – time to kickstart your summer.

This is going to be fun!

P.S. The following is one of many verses I meditate on as I train my spirit, soul and body to say “no” to temptation:

“Let your eyes look straight ahead,
Fix your gaze directly before you.
Make level paths for your feet
And take only ways that are firm.
Do not swerve to the right or the left;
Keep your foot from evil.”
Proverbs 4:25-27

 

It’s Not Tuesday Morning Yet

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One of my favorite singer/songwriters is lesser-known, but brilliant in my humble estimation. He has a pleasant voice and very engaging personality. I’ve seen him once in concert (as part of my favorite band’s tour last year) and I’m looking forward to seeing him as the headliner in about 10 days in Des Moines. But his brilliance isn’t his voice (sorry) or his personality or his choice of friends – I love that he writes songs that every man (or woman) can relate to. He writes songs like a regular guy – love songs, songs with catchy tunes & lyrics, songs to his family members, songs in celebration, songs about life, and songs about choices. His name is Ben Rector and his newest album is called “Brand New.” The album includes what I believe is one of his best songs about choices, relationships, and life.

Brand_New

Instead of writing on and on about what he’s talking about, here are the lyrics and you can see for yourself…it isn’t rocket science or difficult theological concepts…it’s just an honest man’s assessment of what he’d do if he knew the world would end on Tuesday morning.

“Like The World Is Going To End”

If we found out that the world
was gonna end on Tuesday morning
What would everybody do
It’s funny how the thought of that
can make something real important
And a lot of things pretty worthless too

But I’d be dancin’ like a fool
I’d be laughin’, I’d be cryin’
Callin’ everbody I’d ever hurt and reconcilin’
I’d call everyone I loved
Say what I was scared to say till then
Now that I think about it
Maybe I should always live like the world is gonna end

I’d hit all my favorite resturants
They’d be open for business
Would not care what people thought, yeah

And I’d speak love to everbody
Who came close enough to listen
And if someone done be wrong
I’d call and tell em’ I forgot

And then I’d be dancin’ like a fool
I’d be laughin’, I’d be cryin’
Callin’ everbody I’d ever hurt and reconcilin’
I’d call everyone I loved
Say what I was scared to say till then
Now that I think about it
Maybe I should always live like the world is gonna end

We spend most our lives
And almost all our time
One what we don’t care about
What we could do without

Every tragedy
Is that we can’t see it
We can’t see until time is running out

‘Cause I’d be dancin’ like a fool
I’d eat ice cream every mornin’
I’d call up everyone I loved
And drive them out to California
And we’d say the things
that we’ve been scared to death to say till then
Now that I think about it
Maybe we should always live like the world is gonna end

Live like the world is gonna end
I find myself singing this song at periodic times throughout the day. It makes me think. Hopefully it makes me act and make better choices too. Hopefully it’ll do the same for you. Because it’s only Friday – you’ve got about four days to eat ice cream every morning.

If you want the album, you can go to his website, or iTunes, or Amazon…wherever you buy your music. If you want tickets to his Des Moines concert (which is on March 28th – a Monday night fortunately), go to ticketmaster.

Reflecting on Reflection

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Flower_reflectionMy 40-day journey of addition begins today. And I wanted to start with something which will help me all the way through this adventure.

Reflection. So many definitions. One involves a mirror. Yuck.

Some of us use the mirror as a tool to pluck a stray hair, check for green stuff in our teeth, or make sure that eyeliner went on straight. Others  use it as a tool to beat ourselves over the head…”too fat,” “too pale,” “big nose,” “big butt,” “big ears,”…the voice in my head can depress me more than any Donald Trump sound bite. My self-esteem can take a big hit if I saw myself the way that mirror says I am.

But there’s another mirror…a magic mirror…I can use every day, at any moment, if I choose it. This mirror reflects the real me…the me that God says is valued, loved, cherished. The mirror of God’s Word is the only true reflection of who I really am.

Another definition of reflection has to do with  meditation or consideration.

I think about stuff. Don’t you? I spend a lot of time in my head, constantly talking myself into and out of things. So today, I’m committing to spending more time in reflection. Intentionally considering my life, my schedule, my choices, my God. I’m looking forward to listening to the Holy Spirit as I try to reflect who I am because of who He is in me.

That’s another reflection to consider. How do I reflect the love of Christ into this world I live in? I’m a pretty flawed human being but Jesus lives in me and I want His love, His words, His character reflected in my words and actions.

Paul wrote a letter to the Corinthian church and in it he included a section we like to refer to as “the love chapter” – 1 Corinthians 13. It’s very beautiful (if you take time to REFLECT on all of it). There’s a long list of what love is and isn’t (love is patient, kind, not envious…). But one of my favorite parts of the section, toward the end, of what it will be like when we see Jesus.

“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

When we see Jesus, we won’t wonder if we are too fat or too thin, accepted or not accepted, loved or not loved. I will know all things as He knows. A reflection is good for now, but I can’t wait until I see Him face-to-face.

 

People Pleaser, Be Gone!

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Day 6 – Giving up Pleasing People

It’s hard to live successfully in this world without needing to please people. If we worked at our jobs but our bosses weren’t pleased with us, we wouldn’t have our jobs for long. But there is a difference between pleasing people in order to live and living in this world to please people.  That latter one is a never-ending, never-fulfilling cycle of frustration and disappointment.

You can’t please everyone…you probably can’t please any one person, all the time. I love my husband and kids but I’m not always able to please them. I try to make decisions to show my family my love for them but I’m pretty sure all my choices do not please them. If I lived just to please them, we would eat pizza, drink pop, play video games all day, sleep until noon, stay up past midnight…wait. That sounds like college. Seriously, I need to make decisions based on what is good for them and for me – not always what they like or what I like but what will help us grow and mature into the people God desires us to be. So sometimes, they aren’t pleased with my decision to serve leafy green vegetables instead of French fries or to insist on apologizing to each other when they’ve been fighting or keeping a commitment even when I don’t feel like it.

When it comes to people outside of my family, I’m not going to allow someone else’s opinion of me to set the tone for my life. If I know I’m living according to the desires of God’s heart, then I’m going to be happy with that, and not work to receive the applause and accolades of others. That’s the goal anyway. Today I’m giving up the notion that I have to make everyone happy with me and embrace the One who I live to please.

Because really, why am I concerned about acceptance from people when I am…

  • The salt of the earth (Matt. 5:13).
  • The light of the world (Matt. 5:14).
  • In Christ and Christ is in me (John 14:20).
  • Loved by Jesus (John 15:9).
  • Protected from the evil one (John 17:15).
  • Among the called of Jesus (Rom. 1:6)
  • No longer a slave to sin (Rom 6:6b)
  • Not under law, but under grace (Rom 6:14).
  • A child of God (Rom 8:16 and 1 John 3:2).
  • An heir of God and fellow heir with Christ (Rom 8:17)
  • Not lacking in any spiritual gift (1 Cor. 1:7).
  • A temple of God in which the Holy Spirit dwells (1 Cor. 3:16).
  • Comforted by God (2 Cor. 1:4).
  • Sealed in Christ (2 Cor. 1:22a)
  • A sweet aroma of the knowledge of Christ (2 Cor. 2:14).
  • A new creature in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17).
  • An ambassador for Christ (2 Cor. 5:20).
  • Crucified with Christ (Gal. 2:20a)
  • A son of God (Gal. 4:6).
  • Blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ (Eph. 1:3).
  • Holy and blameless in His sight (Eph. 1:4b).
  • Rooted and grounded in Christ’s love (Eph. 3:17).
  • Filled with the fruit of righteousness through Jesus Christ (Phil. 1:11).
  • Taught by God to love others (1 Thess. 4:9).
  • Made holy through Jesus’ own blood (Heb. 13:12).
  • A chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a person for God’s own possession (1 Pet. 2:9).
  • Healed by Jesus’ wounds (1 Pet. 2:24).
  • Forgiven (1 John 1:9).

So if this isn’t good enough for some people, it’s okay. Because I know this is way good with God…the only One who really matters.

“Cheerfully pleasing God is the main thing, and that’s what we aim to do, regardless of our conditions.” (2 Cor. 5:9 – the Message)

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Gal. 1:10 – NIV)

I’m Not Like You and That’s Okay

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I spent this afternoon in the company of a wonderful group of my heroes. Everyone left their capes home for the day but I recognized them anyway. They’re moms. Not just ordinary moms…but extraordinary moms. They have chosen to sacrifice paying jobs, adult conversation, daily affirmation and bathrooms cleaned by someone else so they can teach their children math, reading, geography, science, love, acceptance, loyalty, honor, exploration, patriotism…They home school their children every day. They don’t love their kids more than you do. But they have made the decision to educate their own children and it isn’t an easy one. There are no medals at the end of their day for finishing the race. They are not better parents because they home school but they have chosen a difficult, and sometimes frustrating path. I’m a home schooling mom alum and I know that what they do is often unseen and unappreciated. They probably don’t hear the accolades they deserve. Their rewards are usually big hugs and sticky kisses. Which, now that I think about it, is a pretty wonderful pay check. Thank you for allowing me to relive a few memories and make some new friends.

On to my daily dose of “giving up.”

Day 4 – Give up Comparisons

When I first started running (11 months ago), I found it tempting to look at the Facebook posts of my friends who are runners. One young friend ran every day and posted the most amazing (to me) times and distances. I would get discouraged a bit comparing my pathetic times with hers. Another guy would post something like – “Took a quick 5 mile run after dinner. Not as fast as usual, but ok.” He would show a picture of his Garmin display with a 9 minute/mile pace. Seriously? Not as fast as usual? Who does he think he is – the Roadrunner? I was struggling to finish 2 miles at 11 minutes/mile and felt pretty good about it…until then.

My second 5K run last summer was a timed race and I stood at the back of the group at the finish to review the results. I was floored by how much everyone compared themselves to each other. By this time I had learned it was silly for me to compare myself to anyone else when it came to running. I was getting out there, I was meeting my goals and I was happy with my results. Comparing my results to any other runner wasn’t going to help me get better or faster. It would only be a source of discouragement and frustration.

kids-comparing-height

I learned the “no comparison” lesson with running but it’s a never ending battle in other areas of my life. I still find myself looking at others in regards to my weight, my parenting, my choices, my teaching style, my prayer life, yada, yada, yada. Probably have some deep psychological issues of insecurity but those can wait for another post.

My point is comparing ourselves to others can only be debilitating. You’ll either judge yourself lacking compared to someone else’s success or you’ll determine you’re better than everyone else and become judgmental. Either end of the spectrum is faulty and damaging. My goal isn’t to judge myself worse or better than you…but to encourage you, build you up. Praise your successes – pray for you during your struggles – come alongside you in the good and not-so-good times.

So today I’m definitely making the decision to stop comparing myself to anyone else. I’m not going to use your accomplishments or your efforts as barometers for my own. I’m the best ME I can be and how you live and make choices doesn’t affect that fact. And the same goes for you.

Say this out loud to yourself.

I’m. The. Best. Me. Ever.

Now get out there and be amazing!

What is the difference between living and existing?

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Existing = breathing, eating, sleeping, drinking water. Operating with a bare minimum of effort in order to keep yourself from death.

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Living = All of the above on steroids PLUS:

Embracing life head on.

Choosing risk and change over ruts and routine.

Giving more than taking.

Trusting your heart to someone.

Risking more than playing safe.

Running forward more than stepping back.

Changing more than being complacent.

Knowing you are only one breath from death so committing to breathe deeply.

Loving people and using things, not the other way around.

Courage in place of fear.

Listening at least twice as much as speaking.

Authenticity, not fake “How are you’s”.

Thanksgiving in a world of complaints and whining.

Forgiving over harboring hurts and grudges.

Allowing love over suffering indifference.

Laughter over silence.

Dancing over standing still.

Learning something new each day – and then passing it on to someone else.

Lifting your face into the wind, accepting with laughter and enthusiasm all that life throws your way.

Too many people only exist. How sad.

Seize life!