Category Archives: Reflections on Life

Halfway There

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Some of you know that I’ve given up caffeine for Lent – but truthfully, I’ve had a little chocolate since Ash Wednesday, so it is more accurate to say I’ve given up caffeine drinks for Lent. I’m not a cola drinker, not a tea drinker – I am a coffee drinker. So really, I’ve given up COFFEE for Lent. No – I’m not shouting.

I’m halfway through the 40 days of Lent and after the first few headache days, it’s really been smooth sailing. I have not been tempted, and I’ve been close to coffee every day. I order the coffee for my work place, parcel out the coffee in the filters for ease of use, and smell every pot as it brews. I do the same for church on Sundays. I even make a pot occasionally for Don on weekend afternoons. I’m being honest – I haven’t been tempted to take even a sip.

coffee shopsBut…I am looking forward to drinking coffee on Friday, April 19th. And I’m going to start making the rounds of my local coffee shops in May. We have a plethora of coffee locations to choose from…all within walking distance from my office. I tested out iced coffee last go round – I think I’ll stay a little more calorie conscious and just do a 16 ounce brewed black. I’m mapping out the route…only one per week, should take me through most of the summer.

Hey – just because I’m fasting it, doesn’t mean I can’t dream, right?

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Love Those Kids

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img_1315For the last three plus years I have surrounded myself with kids. I’ve always enjoyed children, especially my own, but sometimes a few could really get on my nerves. Honest confession: I like kids who behave. But as I’ve grown older, I think I have more grace than when my own children were younger.

Quite a few years ago, when I helped out in a kids’ ministry to 4th-6th graders, I’d get exasperated with the kiddos who enjoyed causing turmoil. I think they felt it was their calling in life. “Let’s get Kris to lose her temper.”  And each Wednesday night, I left irritated. Now I know the Bible says to love everyone, but these little ones got on my very last nerve every week. So much for showing the love to Jesus to the world, right?

img_2090Then came a seven year hiatus, when I basically had no ministry responsibilities. I spent a lot of alone time with Jesus. Through a series of events, I felt a mindset shift in many areas. I made intentional choices to get healthy, ready my Bible, lose weight, reconnect with friends and family, take up running, explore new adventures. Somewhere in the course of that time, I fell in love with kids again…even those that used to irritate me. Of course, I don’t have involvement with those same kids from way back, but I still encounter children whose sole purpose in life is to disrupt whatever environment they are in. They’re really good at it too. But God has given me a supernatural love for them. No way could this be on my own. And on top of that, I love all the other ones too. The ones who are wild and crazy, the one whose smile lights a room, and the ones who are shy and reserved.

img_1567Every child needs to know they are valued and loved, no matter their behavior. The world they live in is turbulent and scary so I want to be a safe place for each one. A place they can go for encouragement, a hug, a prayer, maybe even a little face-to-face “what ARE you doing?” if necessary. I want them to see Jesus in all that I say and do. Occasionally I get in someone’s face to confront behavior that is unacceptable (cheating, lying, bullying are non-negotiables), but mostly I want them to really know they are loved…by me and most importantly, by God. I still make mistakes…many times. But I’m relying on the grace and mercy of God. He loves those kids more than I do!

I am blessed to be a part of the kids’ ministry at our church. We have preschool through high school as part of our Wednesday night program. This week is our last JAM (Jesus and Me) of the school year and though I’m tired, I’m sad too. Once the program is finished, I may not see some of these kids again until September, or maybe not at all.  We have such a small window of time and opportunity…make it a count. These kids are worth it!

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Be Strong and Courageous

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“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.””

‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭31:6‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Have you had a tough week? Me too.

Our family is mourning a cousin who passed away last week. The recent rains and thaw brought water into our basement through a rotten window sill. Our sump pump has had a hiccup or two, just enough that we need to sleep with one eye (and both ears) open. Home repairs mean multiple trips a day to the local home store and that’s never easy, especially for a couple of people totally intimidated by anything hardware related. Even checking out was stressful. We dug window wells (thank you, Sean!), poured rock, edged with brick and I was amazed to see it hadn’t all fallen in this morning.

Our situation is so very minor compared to the tragic flooding in neighboring states, the horrific cyclone that ravaged southeast Africa and the humanitarian crisis in Venezuela. Our world is hurting and needing hope.

Maybe you’re facing a big decision regarding your finances, or your health, or your kids. Maybe you need to know you’re not alone in the middle of your crisis. Perhaps your bank account is shrinking and your pantry is empty. Maybe you are worn down waiting for an answer to your prayers.

Whatever you are facing today, God wants you to know you are not alone. He is with you in your situation. He walks with you into that doctor’s office and He holds you in the night when anxiety threatens to steal your sleep. His promises are true and you can trust Him to be faithful in whatever you need. Be strong, my friend. Watch what God will do for you this week. I’ll be praying for you.

Girlfriends

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I’m taking some time to celebrate genuine girlfriends. No matter how old you are, if you’re a woman, you’ve probably had great female friendships, and a few not so good. Mean girls are not just reserved for high school. Most of those mean girls grow up to be mean women. But today – I want to give a shout out to those women who give unconditional love and support, who celebrate the great times, and stand beside us through the tough times.

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Women from the Class of 1978 – Durand High School

I’ve been blessed to have many wonderful women friends through the years. My high school classmates are still great friends, even though we don’t see each other often. We are planning a couple of “Girls’ Night Out” events so we can come alongside one of our own who is facing a tough health battle. We love her so much and want to show her our support.

“We are friends for life. When we’re together the years fall away. Isn’t that what matters? To have someone who can remember with you? To have someone who remembers how far you’ve come?” ― Judy Blume

As a young pastor’s wife, I moved to a different city wondering if I’d have difficulty making friends in this new place. It didn’t take long to bond with some amazing women who loved me and helped me acclimate.

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Ladies who brunch!

Friends who threw me a baby shower, babysat my boys, took us out for dinner, gave me homeschooling advice, had us over for family birthdays and holidays, sat with us through sickness and health. Priceless friendships that have stood the test of time!

I have been fortunate to have older women mentor me in ministry, marriage and parenting. I’ve loved the opportunities to mentor younger women in those same areas. They are treasured friendships that now span the country. Thanks to social media we can still be a part of each others’ lives.

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My sweet friend Nichole

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Best buddies Debbie and Jody

As I head toward my 60s,  I’m spending time in reflection…remembering fun road trips, shopping trips, ministry trips…ladies who have hugged me as I cried, ladies I’ve hugged through their own pain. We’ve prayed, laughed, worshiped, cheered, and eaten chocolate together. I’ve tried to stand by them through illness and grief…they have done the same for me. They point me to Jesus and my goal is to be a light in their lives.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to appreciate my beautiful sister as a girlfriend. She’s my confidante, my inspiration, my favorite friend. I wish we lived closer physically but I know there is nothing we would not do for each other.

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My sister – my first and best friend

Pray for your friends today. Send someone a card. Give one of them a call. Make a coffee date. Connect. As we get busy, life passes us by. Make time to celebrate the special women in your life.

“I’m so thankful for friendship. It beautifies life so much.” ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea

Today’s Top 10 for Spring!

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Trail through woodsMy top 10 list of things to do this time of year:

10) Clean out my closet. I’m so tired of sweaters. Though I could wear boots year-round, I am looking forward to wearing sandals, or at least no socks! Now is a great time to sort through those clothes and shoes you didn’t wear over the long winter and donate to Salvation Army. Or make a little extra money by using Stuff Etc. Beware though – your consignment items need to be in very, very good condition to be accepted.

9) Trying a new restaurant. I enjoy going to new places any time of year, but there is something about spring that gives me extra bravery to try a different cuisine. I’m still waiting to try good Thai or Indian food. I do have someone who’s willing to go with me, so I just need to set the date.

8) Clean my windows. I actually enjoy cleaning my house windows, inside and out, when the weather is nice, and I can open everything up. Feels like a fresh start.

7) Move the furniture around. Another fresh start. Just don’t do it right before going to bed because you may end up stubbing your toes on the couch in the middle of the night. “Who moved that there?” I have some new furniture than only fits a certain way in my living room, so I’m going to have be extra creative this year.

6) Re-connecting with friends. The winter was treacherous. Lots of ice and snow kept most of us inside unless we absolutely had to go out. But now that that yucky stuff is gone, time to make some coffee dates with friends I haven’t seen since late fall. I may not be drinking caffeine, but most coffee shops offer herbal alternatives. And scones.

 

5) Fresh music playlist. I’ve listened to the same playlist all winter so time to change it up. Spotify makes it very easy to find whatever I want to listen to and create a playlist that I can access any time. Made a Lenten worship one the other day and loving it.EFY_2015_1

4) Running. I do not run in the winter. I’m old enough that recovery from a fall on ice or snow would be long and arduous, but come spring time, I’m ready to hit the trails again. I upload my C25K app (again) and start fresh with Day 1. Doesn’t take too long to get back into the swing of it. “You don’t need to go fast, you just need to go.”

3) Baseball is back. Cubs fan. That is all.

2) Long walks outside. I walk every day. If the weather is lousy, I walk during my lunch hour within my block-long office building or I hit the downtown sky walk system. If I include a parking deck or two, I can get three miles in over the hour. But once spring weather comes in, I love walking outside. The new playlist in my earbuds, my comfy boots or shoes, an occasionally muddy spot, blue skies, gentle (or blustery) breezes…recharges my battery and lifts my moody. Every time.

1) Easter. I don’t decorate in pastels, and bunnies, and eggs. Well, truthfully, I don’t decorate in much of anything, but for me Easter isn’t about all of that. Easter is THE holiday in my life. I take this time of year to reflect on the magnitude of this great thing – Christ Jesus gave His life on a brutal cross to take my sin so I could have eternity with Him in heaven. Easter isn’t just about the cross – it’s also about the tomb. He died for us, yet He rose again, victorious over sin and darkness. That is why Easter is so important…why it’s number one on my list.

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:10

He Is Risen

Happy Spring! Happy Easter!

Tradition!

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Has anyone seen Fiddler on the Roof? It is a musical set in imperial Russia in 1905. The story centers on Tevye, the father of five daughters. Throughout the production, Tevye attempts to hold true to his Jewish traditions but outside forces creep in and change happens. It’s a longer movie, but so worth it. Tevye’s hold to tradition above all else eventually withers away as he and his family are forced to leave their village by the Tsar’s edict…Change happens…to all of us.

But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have a few customs to hold onto…Traditions within the family can cause a cohesiveness that is hard to duplicate. Traditions can create memories which will last throughout lifetimes. The McGarvey’s have a few traditions of our own…

IMG_3835My husband is a sports lover. Fortunately, he married a sports-loving woman because we really enjoy watching and/or participating in lots of sports. And of course, we raised our two sons to be sports nuts as well. And we were very, very successful. I guess we aren’t as extreme as some families, but we taught our kids how to play all those sports at a young age. Boys_golf_partnersAs homeschoolers, we could take an afternoon and go play 18 holes of golf or start up a quick kickball game in the backyard. And sports watching is a sport in our house. The girls that love my guys have had to get used to this…and I love them for it.

This so happens to be our favorite time of year – when all the stars align, and all our sports are happening at the same time. We are a March Madness family – we’ve filled out brackets for 20 years (David wins most often). We’ve seen the process morph from copying it out of the Monday morning newspaper to multiple online bracket groups. It is also the start of baseball (two Cub fans, two Cardinal fans) and The Masters (golf, for those not sports-minded) is only a few weeks away.Cubs_fans

Our traditions center around activities we enjoy and have enjoyed together. When the kids were younger, we spent our short vacations in the Wisconsin Dells, specifically the Wilderness Resort. We have a loyalty to that location that will keep us from enjoying any other Dells resort. It’s Wilderness or nothing. It’s our tradition.

About six years ago I started listening to the music of a certain band, NEEDTOBREATHE. I bought five tickets to see the band in Chicago (side note: we also took in a Cub game on that trip – we love our sports). The boys and I (with their two girlfriends) attended the concert and we were hooked. It was so much fun – not just the concert, but the whole day spent with family, in a new location, doing fun things, being flexible, enjoying each other. We still tell stories of that first concert in Chicago. We attended two more concerts that year (St. Louis and Iowa City). We’ve tried to attend at least one NTB concert each year, not just because we enjoy their music, but because we enjoy each other. We make the whole trip an experience filled with memories with people we love. Even Don’s gone a couple of times. It’s our tradition.Concert_goers

So, I have 4 small suggestions for beginning any tradition in your family:

  • Make it something all of you enjoy…or at least a large majority. Because we all love baseball, we can handle attending either Cubs or Cardinals games (though two of us will always be less ecstatic than the other two) but since only one of us is a Hawkeye fan, we don’t choose to go to any Iowa sport together.
  • Don’t adhere to too many absolutes. We fill out our brackets each year, but we don’t maintain the method must stay the same. Paper or online – doesn’t matter. We go to our annual NTB concert, but we don’t have to eat the same food every time or only see them in one city. In fact, we like seeing them in lots of different locations. Flexibility within the tradition gives you more great memories.
  • You are never too old to start a tradition. Our concert going idea started when my kids were already grown, and I was in my fifties. I’m looking forward to starting new traditions in the future.
  • Keep it simple. Allow life to happen, and as it does, natural traditions will begin on their own. Forcing traditions onto your family may backfire and cause more stress than joy.

I hope you enjoy a few simple traditions –  Making memories with family is the most important thing.

Churches

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No great theological treatise today – just an observation. We have a lot of churches in our downtown area.

I walk all over Cedar Rapids over my lunch hour and always notice the proliferation of church buildings in various denominations:Presbyterian, Catholic, Episcopal, non-denominational, inter-denominational, and more. You want it, it’s here somewhere.

My trusty iPhone camera captured a few as I was walking in recent days

St. Wenceslaus Catholic Church

Westminster Presbyterian Church

Bethel A.M.E. Church

Immaculate Conception Catholic Church

Veritas Church

I’m sure I’ll be taking more church photos. I find something inspiring about seeing the places where God’s children worship, where the Body of Christ comes together to learn and grow and become equipped for service in the Kingdom of God.

I hope you have a church home. The building may not be magnificent but if the Word is preached and you feel a part of the community of believers, it’s a good place.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭10:24-25‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Need Some Encouragement?

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sunshine-heartThe sun is shining in Cedar Rapids! After a long, cold, snowy, cold winter, I’m anticipating the arrival of spring a little more enthusiastically today.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow! (sing along with me!)

The sunshine encourages me. I work in an office with a lot of windows and that beautiful sun shines in and lifts my spirits. But the opposite is true as well. On those dark, cloudy, gray days, I have to work very hard to stay upbeat and positive. As you can tell, I allow my circumstances to control my mood. And that is not healthy living.

Romans_15_13Every day I’m thankful for the Word of God that is filled with encouragement…verses that lift me up, show me where my confidence should be, promises God will always fulfill. When I read my Bible, I get a large dose of sunshine (even on a cloudy day). Other believers also boost my spirits. I have a very dear friend who regularly puts positive, uplifting, encouraging posts on Facebook. When I see them, I smile. I can’t help it. Encouragement is contagious.

So if you need a little boost – read the promises of God. The YouVersion app is a wonderful tool to put the Word literally at your fingertips. If you are sufficiently “boosted,” won’t you spread a little cheer to someone else today? It’ll feed your own soul too!

Praying isn’t Doing Nothing

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Nebraska_flooding_AHave you been following the tragic stories coming out of Nebraska? For the last week, horrible flooding has devastated at least 53 of the 93 counties, swallowing up family farms, swamping towns, destroying roads and bridges. It is heartbreaking to see the pictures being posted on social media. What a helpless feeling.

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Stamats offices – June 2008

When Cedar Rapids flooded in 2008, our offices were destroyed by river water going to heights never seen before. Ten blocks on both sides of the Cedar River were under water. Families were evacuated, many never returned to their homes. Volunteers sandbagged the one last water pump on the city’s northwest side to save it from flooding. Citizens came together as one to save what could be saved, help their neighbors salvage or muck out their homes after the waters receded and provide whatever support or supplies they could. But it was a terribly helpless feeling as we watched the waters go up, and up, and up.

There isn’t much I can physically do to help our neighbors to the west. I can’t go over there, I can’t provide enough food or water to matter…but I can give and I can pray. Some of you think that’s a cop out. Like praying doesn’t matter. But I know who  laid the world’s foundation, who marked off its dimensions and set its cornerstone. I have access to the One gives orders to the morning, has journeyed to the springs of the sea, entered the storehouses of snow and hail, and controls rivers in the wasteland. 

If I can speak to the Creator of the universe, you bet I’ll be pleading for the waters to recede and families to be rescued…for livestock to miraculously survive and homes to set up on islands…for money to be freed up quickly to help those in need…for communities to come together to rebuild without acrimony or bitterness.

FaithJoin me?

 

 

 

Looking Down

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This spring thaw has caused major damage and destruction across the Midwest. Complete towns devastated, roads and bridges destroyed by ice jams and raging flood waters. Would you take a moment to pray for all those affected by this tragedy?

In my little corner of the world it was pleasant enough to take a short walk this afternoon. I purposely kept my eyes to the ground. So often looking down can communicate depression but in this case, I wanted to see the world awakening in small ways.

My poor daffodils tried to come up out of the warming ground a couple of weeks early. After being buried under snow for a while they are pretty pale and wrinkled. Here’s hoping some significant sunshine will set things right.

The hope of spring feels real when I see the little green shoots of my narcissus next to my front door. That little bit of green is so welcome in my brown world.

I also noticed a beautiful ice bubble in one of the last snow packs in our yard. This area was underwater earlier this week but most of the water is gone and the rest froze again in today’s cooler temps. See that little bubble? It’s a tiny magnifying glass – so fragile – so perfect.

I like to think God delights over us much as I delighted in these little signs of spring. Excited to see how we’ll surface from the cold, lifeless journey of sin into the warmth of His love and care. Persevere, little one. Reach up to the Son. Bloom as He intends for you. You are filled with all you need to be beautiful!