Category Archives: Reflections on Life

I’m Proud of Myself, and That’s Not a Good Thing

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Taking a long look in the mirror today. Probably should do it more often. I have a problem and except for God, no one can help me solve it. My problem is pride.

img_2356As a wife, mom, ministry leader, co-worker, I need to know about a lot of things. People count on me to keep track of details and schedules, managing minuscule bits of information for later retrieval. The problem is I think I need to know a lot about everything…things that are none of my business. I think about how I would solve a certain problem, and tell others my way. I think about how I would respond to someone’s issue, and then communicate it, even though it’s none of my concern. I poke my nose into other people’s problems and most are too nice to tell me to “butt out.”

I have a tendency to think my way of doing things, saying things, thinking things, is always the best way. Pride is a beautiful, ugly monster. The two-sided coin of believing in myself, but knowing I am but clay in the hands of the Master Potter. My trust cannot be in my own abilities, but in the Creator God who formed me in my mother’s womb. Ego is necessary for life…but without that mirror of self-reflection, it becomes a weapon of destruction.

Dan Rockwell writes a daily leadership blog that I find fascinating. His blog on the 10 Practices of Humility for Egotistical Leaders is one I need to read at least once a month. Probably should post it around my house and office too. He begins with the six symptoms of egotistical leadership…things like: ego thinks “I” and “me”…ego can’t be wrong…ego dismisses criticism and correction…and my personal favorite (cringe)…ego listens with a personal agenda. “What’s in it for me? How does this make me look? Who can I blame?”

So today I’m looking in the mirror – truly seeing the pride that has become a problem in all facets of my life and asking God to forgive me, give me a new heart of humility, to serve others before myself, to show Jesus to the people I’m surrounded by every day. I pray He shows me people I need to apologize to – for offending them – even unintentionally. I’m hoping He gives me opportunity to shine His light on others. Am I self-serving or others-serving? Because if I’m a leader, a co-worker, wife, mom, or “whatever” – I need to think “you”…not “me.”

Pride

 

 

 

I Appreciate You!

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img_2350I know I was raised in a different era. No cell phones, no Instagram, no social media outside of a party line. Don’t know what a party line is? Google it. Oh yes, no Google, either. Side note: Google would have saved so many arguments in my family. And IMDb – my dad and I “discussed” movies, actors, etc. ad nauseam. That little app would have come in so handy. I digress…

One of the skills my mom instilled in me, and I attempted to instill in my boys, was to write thank you notes. After receiving Christmas and birthday gifts, I provided kid-friendly cards for them to write a short little “Thank you for the…” They did it (eventually), but it was a battle most of the time. It wasn’t that they weren’t grateful. But the process of actually putting pen (or pencil) to paper was agonizing. Like I was asking them to rake the yard with a toothbrush. Tears, grumbling, scowls, sometimes outright defiance. I’d find their little stack (five, at most) hidden in their school work or under a stack of magazines. “Oh, I thought I finished those.”

I tried to make it easier (at least on the postman) – I wrote the names and addresses. Then I wrote out a sample of what to say…eventually it was, “Just write one sentence. Just one sentence. It’s almost March!” And then- I gave up. It wasn’t worth it. The battle had worn me down. I went from insistent that they provide a hand-written note to “just call Grandma and tell her you like the sweatshirt.” Just an acknowledgement of her act of kindness.

Fast forward 15 years – I know longer worry about my kids’ notes of appreciation. They thank me all the time for things I’ve done for them, or gifts I’ve given. But more importantly, I know they have a grateful heart.

Those excruciating sessions of writing thank you notes taught me one thing: showing appreciation, saying (or writing) “thank you” isn’t always easy, but it’s always necessary. Maybe not for yourself, but for the person who is on the receiving end. My mom (and mother-in-law) were thrilled to receive those painstakingly printed notes. They knew I forced the kids to write them, but I’d still see those little smudged letters pinned to a bulletin board or affixed with a magnet to a refrigerator. Everyone appreciates being appreciated.

We all have people in our lives who would love to receive a little recognition…an acknowledgement that they are not forgotten. Think of it as sparking joy without emptying your house. Surprise someone with a text or phone call. What a wonderful way to fill your Facebook or Instagram feed with love and good will. Take a moment today to tell someone “thank you.” Or go the old-fashioned way and write a note. The post office still sells stamps.

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Be Brave

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Running

4th of July race in Cedar Rapids

Though I’ve announced I’ll soon end my tutoring “career,” I’m continuing with my brave adventures. Wish the weather would cooperate.

I’ll soon be back out on the trails, taking those long walks, getting back into some sort of running shape so I can tackle a 10K this year. A year ago I said I’d do a different length race each year. I’ve done plenty of 5Ks so there is no challenge left there (I guess if I cared about speed, I could work on that, but I don’t). After completing a 10K, I’m looking at a pretty big milestone for this late-in-life runner…in the year I turn 60, I want to run a half-marathon. Some would say I’m stupid (that may be the voice in my head, I’m not sure)…I choose to say I’m being brave.

To me, bravery is facing the giants in our lives…no matter if they are just in our heads. What do I fear? What do I see as insurmountable? What do I see as impossible? Do I allow my age to hold me back from potential adventures? Do I think it’s too late to try some new things? Not yet.

I’ve got a few things in the works to stretch my “fear factor” but I’m not going to allow the argument “I’ve never done this before” to be the deciding factor. Now, I’m not silly. I know my limitations physically. I won’t be taking up any extreme sports or gladiator challenges. Not yet anyway.

I hope you are cheering on those around you who are venturing out of their comfort zones to take up new exploits. My inner cheerleader shouts encouragement when I see my friends stand up and go forth and conquer fear.

I hope YOU are taking up new things. Maybe it’s beginning a fitness program, or letting go of an addiction, or learning a new skill. Don’t allow fear or insecurity keep you from reaching out and grabbing all that God has in front of you to do. I’ll be cheering you on!!

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Saying Goodbye to a Season of Life

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The time isn’t right quite yet, but I’ll soon be finished with my second career.

In December 2010, I started researching second jobs. I was a part time receptionist but needed to make some extra money without investing a lot of extra time. I never really considered a life of crime so robbing a bank was out, as were other more nefarious options.

Somehow I came across a website that offered tutoring services for a variety of subjects, and they needed tutors. After more research I realized I could do this. I was still homeschooling my youngest son at the time, but I knew a bit about a variety of subjects so I thought I’d give it a shot. After taking a bunch of subject knowledge tests on their website, I signed on with WyzAnt to be a tutor.

WyzAnt ProfileI set up my profile, selected which subjects I wanted to offer, picked my hourly fee, and sent it live to the WyzAnt website. They did the rest. It was one of the best spur of the moment decisions I have ever made.

For the last 8 plus years I’ve tutored many, many students…as young as 3rd grade and as old as a guy who wanted to learn Microsoft Office computer skills to get a better job. I’ve tutored a young high school drop out who was working to get her GED and a high school junior studying for her ACT who probably should have been tutoring me.

Though I qualified to tutor over 20 different subjects, most of my students needed assistance in math (of some sort) or preparation for their ACT. I’ve taught elementary girls discouraged over learning multiplication facts to Division 1 athletes and scholars who wanted to increase their ACT scores by five points – all needed the same thing. Someone to believe in them, to cheer them on, to tell them “you can do it!” And even when I don’t know the subject matter as well (Algebra 2 – yuck), I can always encourage someone to dig deep, work hard and be successful. I only had one student (actually, her mom) come back and ask for a refund. Let’s just say it was a mutual decision not to continue our tutoring relationship. That particular student didn’t need a cheerleader.

But the vast majority – 99.9% – were amazing kids. Each one holds a special place in my heart and I can recall wonderful stories about our times together. I loved seeing the light bulb go off when they “got it” or a text from their mom saying they jumped 8 points in their ACT. I bonded with each one, loved working with them, helping them reach their goals. Sometimes we met once, twice, three times – a few students I had over the course of a year, and two or three I continued into a 2nd year. I’ve kept up with some of them into college. The beauty of social media. My current student is in 5th grade and we started when she was a little 3rd grader. When she’s ready to move on without a tutor, I’ll retire.

But tonight, she still needs me. We’ll play math games, review multiplication and division, learn some more tips and tricks on adding and subtracting fractions…and I’ll listen to her tell me about her day, her friends, her wise view of life as a 5th grade girl. She’ll wiggle in her chair, drop her pencil, jump up and show me her latest ballet move. And I’ll laugh with her, and think about how much my life has been enriched because I took a little side job 8 years ago.

 

Attitude is Everything

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I’m having a Monday. Yes, I know it IS Monday, but somehow this one seems a little more Monday-ish. Maybe it’s because I’m fresh off a couple of vacation days. Maybe because I’m trying to get through my emails, prioritizing which ones really are as important as they seem to think they are. No matter the reason, it’s true. Mondays can be rough. And my attitude shows it.

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I’m noticing a trend recently. Bad attitude = bad day. Good attitude = good day. Easy math there. If I choose to smile before I answer the phone, the caller doesn’t seem to get on my nerves. If I choose to be helpful to a co-worker, I feel a little better about myself. Of course, stuff happens. Sometimes those callers are just plain mean. But instead of getting all whiny and grumpy, I can CHOOSE to be positive. It does take some intentional thought processes, but it can be done.

Recently, I’ve encountered an individual who complains about everything. (No, it probably isn’t you…this person doesn’t know I have a blog…probably wouldn’t recognize herself anyway). After trying to figure out a computer form, she called to get help…which was happily given. She was determined to find fault with the system. It couldn’t possibly be human error – it had to be a computer issue. Well, as you’ve probably guessed, it was human error. And once that was diagnosed (and fixed), she launched into a long diatribe on the evils of change, how valuable her time was, how terrible blah, blah, blah.

This was a wake up call for me. How often do I complain and whine about situations beyond my control? How many people have heard my sighs of frustration or observed my grumpy face? How often do I blame someone or something else, when I’m the one at fault?

If I’m to be a reflection of Jesus then I better get a few things straightened out. My attitude is at the top of the list. And I know I can do it. Through Christ, all things are possible. As my friend Jennifer Dukes Lee says, “We are not powerless. Great freedom comes when we let go of what we CAN’T control, and rise up to take charge of what we CAN.”

Can Control (1)

 

 

DIY Sunday

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Spent a fun few hours at a new local business staining, sanding, painting, and waxing. According to their Facebook page. Board and Brush Creative Studio is “a place for creating fun and unique wood decor projects from scratch while enjoying a fun instructor led atmosphere.”

My two friends and I spent the whole three hours admiring all the beautiful examples on the walls, while completing our own projects. So many colors and designs. It was hard to decide what to do for ourselves…

Our table instructor, Hannah, is a junior in high school and so knowledgeable and confident in leading us from plain pine board to finished product. She was incredible. I never felt overwhelmed though looking back on the day, I did a lot I had never done before. Definitely learned some new things today.

Working hard or hardly working – Iā€™m not telling.

I had creative license in choosing the project, the stain and paint colors and never felt pressured. If I hate it (I don’t), it would be my own fault. Each step was communicated well so it would be hard to mess up anything.

My BIG project complete

Music, refreshments, fun with friends, some personalized wall decor for my kitchen – pretty wonderful afternoon. Can’t wait to go back.

Our finished bonus projects

Stretching Your Brain

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It’s a sunny Saturday. I’ve already been out for tea at the local coffee shop with my friend, and walked through WalMart getting a few necessaries. We have a birthday party to drop into this afternoon and another errand or two to get done before the day slips away. The pork shoulder is humming along in the Crock Pot and I’m learning how to upload my first video on YouTube.

Uh – what?

Yes – I am almost in my 60s and I’m learning something new today. Don and I try to learn new things every day…maybe not all as ambitious as establishing a YouTube channel and uploading videos, but new to us, nonetheless. We enjoy learning new vocabulary words, especially those that we can use in sermons or conversations. We enjoy using new vegetables in our cooking, or trying new recipes. We cookedĀ bangers and mash for the first time on St. Patrick’s Day.

Recently Don learned more than he wanted to about home repair. Maybe not his favorite activity, but he did it and admits he learned a lot. Installing new windows, creating window wells, fixing sump pumps, replacing a ceiling fan and faucet…Admittedly, the learning is more enjoyable when you choose it, rather than it choosing you.

Rotary phoneSome of us think we’re too old (or too dumb) to learn new things, but I think that’s either a lie you’ve believed or a lazy way to live life. I’m sure you don’t still have a rotary dial telephone or a TV without a remote control. Along the line you’ve learned to use an electric stove and a gas washer and dryer. Maybe you’re really daring, using a smartphone with wifi, sharing iPhone photos of the grandkids on Facebook.

We all must learn new things every day or we’ll die. We’ll be left in the dust of technology and we’ll be boring in conversations. I found a fun and informative blog from a few years ago that shows why new things will enliven our lives, and ways to learn new thingsĀ  right now via apps and the internet…ways to keep your brain alive and alert. YouTube is full of how-to tutorials, from how to upload your first video (that’s me!) to how to tie a tie or make slime. There are DIY channels to learn a new home or cooking skill, books to read on herbs to plant or window boxes to make. I’m not talking about learning a new language or how to play a musical instrument. It’s the small, incremental steps that make your life interesting…it all starts with making the choice. And NOT believing the lie that you can’t because of…(insert your excuse).

Worst enemyWhat new thing will you learn today?

Be Kind

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img_2306Had a whole blog written about staycations. Got about three paragraphs in and realized it was so mundane and boring, that I wouldn’t even read it. Deleted the whole thing.

Instead, just a quick reminder:

Be kind.

Today Don and I spent a lot of time with sales clerks, waitresses and cashiers, fellow drivers on the interstate and hospital workers. Now that I’m home, quietly snuggled up on my couch, I’ve been thinking about those small connections and praying I reflected Christ in a way that brings Him glory.

Did I show appreciation for the service I was given? Did I tip generously? Did I smile and make eye contact with those I was speaking with? Did I listen well and respond appropriately? Did I show respect and compassion, even if given less than stellar service? Was I honest in all my dealings?

It doesn’t take much extra effort…and kindness speaks so well to people everywhere. The apostle Paul says, “LetĀ nothingĀ be doneĀ through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteemĀ othersĀ better than himself.”Ā  (Philippians 2:3)

What a great way to give testimony of Jesus to the world around us.

“AndĀ be kind to one another, tenderhearted,Ā forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

Opening Day

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I’m a baseball fan – more specifically, I’m a Chicago Cubs baseball fan. And today is Opening Day.

If you are not a sports fan, especially of a team who used to be perennial losers, you may not understand the significance of Opening Day. Let me give you a little insight…

Up until 2015, the Chicago Cubs were known as the lovable losers…maybe not to their fans, but certainly to fans of our rivals, the St. Louis Cardinals. No, I take that back. To Cardinal fans, the Cubs were just plain losers.

Every year around mid to late May, most Cubs fans realized that once again, their favorite team would not be winning their division, maybe even finishing in last place…again. The catch phrase – “Wait ’til next year” – was our cry. Hope springs eternal in the hearts of life long Cub fans. And every year, we were disappointed. Oh yes – we had our moments…1984, 1989, 1998, 2003, 2007 and 2008…always giving us a taste of what could be. But always, other teams played better in those final crucial games…and we went home earlier than we would like.

But in 2015, the tide turned. Our lowly team, with fresh young faces, started winning, unexpectedly defeating other teams who were considered “better” or “more talented.” But you can’t measure heart, and those young guys didn’t know anything about Cubs history, or the lovable losers tag, or that the Cubs weren’t supposed to win. They didn’t make it to the World Series that year, but now their die hard fans were excited. Could “wait ’til next year” actually be accurate this time?

Yes – it was. 2016 was the year of the Cubs. We won right out of the gate…played well all year, and defeated the Giants and Dodgers to make it to the World Series against the Cleveland Indians. The Cubs hadn’t been to the Series since 1945 – 71 years! Books have been written about this team and this series. The Cubs defeated the Indians in seven games, with more drama than a “This Is Us” episode.

The World Series trophy came to Cedar Rapids – couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see it

My Cardinal-loving son came to watch that last game at our house…”To watch you watch your team win the World Series.”Ā  He’s such a great guy – he knew how much this meant to me and even though his team was out of it, he wanted to be a part of celebrating with me. That 7th game was a nail biter…can’t even watch a replay now without getting nervous.

Chicago trip 006

Enjoyed a win at Wrigley in August 2018 with sister, niece and son – my first night game.

My Cub-loving son was out of town, but we connected via texts…he was watching in Ames, and me on my couch. Nothing binds people together like sports and the mutual love of a team. It’s part of why I love Opening Day. Everything is fresh, hope is bright, we’re all starting from the same 0-0 score. The long season stretches before us – with promises of close games and blow outs, diving catches and wall-climbing grabs, monstrous home runs, and swinging bunt singles, sweeping tags and stolen bases.

Hello, Opening Day! Go Cubs!

How May I Help You?

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On my desk as a reminder – not a selfie šŸ™‚

I am a receptionist. And very proud of it. I provide the first impression of the company and I take that responsibility very seriously. Answering phones and greeting visitors – with a smile – every day – is not as easy as some would assume.

I’ve given directions to random people who walk in off the street. They have no address, just the name of whatever business they are looking for. Thanks to Google they leave happy. Had a semi truck driver ask me where the post office is (it’s the next block over from my office). Our side streets are narrow and crowded with parked cars, but I was able to help him decide what would be the best route to drive to deliver the mail. You’re welcome.

I had a co-worker who shared this job with me for a number of years. We used to laugh about incidents, phone calls, visitors we would handle. We called it “receptionist humor.” Such as…

I’ve had people come into our lobby assuming we ARE the post office (both addresses start with 615)…one person even insisted. No – I think I would know. I really wanted to be snarky, but remembering I am the face of my company (at least in the office lobby), I kept the snark on the down low.

I always answer the phone with “Good Morning” and the name of my company. Then I pause to hear what the caller wants. One time, the voice on the other end waited a beat and then asked, “Are you a real person?” Sometimes, sir, sometimes.

I’m glad we don’t have an automatic phone service…not just because I’d be out of a job, but because people are so relieved when they can deal with an actual person…someone they can ask questions of…and I feel good about solving their problem or directing them to the person who can.

My side gig is to pass out smiles and encouragement…not just to visitors but also to our own employees. People have enough stress in their lives, they don’t need it from the first person they see in the office.

I love interacting with the delivery people who enter the front door. Jimmy John’s drivers; Lee-Ann, our mail lady; Aaron and Dave from a local printing shop; Don, our dry cleaner driver – they have tough jobs out in the weather year round. Smiles don’t cost me anything and can be priceless to someone else.

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More reminders to keep it positive

Please realize that I am not perfect and don’t claim to be. I have stressful days and often catch myself whining about something insignificant. I have callers who get on my last nerve. (BTW – if you have a problem and need to call a company to resolve it, the person who answers the phone probably didn’t cause whatever is freaking you out. Be polite or I’ll tell your mother.)

I’ve caught myself venting to my supervisor. I often have to apologize for my poor attitude to her and to the Lord. Because, ultimately, I’m not just the face or voice of my company, I’m the face of Jesus, His hands and feet to this world. I need to remember to represent Him well.

So…how may I help you? :)))