Don’t you hate it when someone criticizes something you’ve done, or how you look, or a decision you made. My normal response is hackles up, assume a defensive position, and interrupt their opinion to defend my own. And it really doesn’t matter if the criticism is valid or not – I get defensive. But, the older I get, the more I’m trying (key word here) to see the truth within the criticism.
Let’s be clear first – Joe Blow doesn’t have permission to rail on my decisions. For any criticism to be analyzed for grains (or more) of truth, I need it delivered by someone I trust, someone I believe has my best interests at heart. The opinion of someone yelling at me from a car as I’m walking down the street, telling me my coat color is ugly, isn’t given much weight. So what do I care what you think of my coat color. But…if my husband says he’s not a big fan, or he doesn’t think that color does anything for my skin, then…I may take it into account. Easy example to offer since I know my husband would never comment on my coat color.
Trust comes first. Then, when a criticism is offered, instead of turning into Mike Singletary, I need to respond with respect, offer a “thank you for your opinion,” and take a moment to see if some truth exists within. There usually is. Because I can always improve, I can always grow, and if I dismiss all criticism as invalid, I’ll never get further than where I am right now.
Today’s Leadership Freak blog had a statement that caused me think:
The opposite of defensiveness is vulnerability.
How vulnerable am I willing to be to grow – as a mom, wife, teacher, co-worker, leader, Jesus-follower? The author included list of eight sentences which accelerate personal and professional growth:
- I’m not great at everything.
- I aspire to improve.
- I’m not as smart as I think I am.
- I’m not as right as I think I am.
- I could be wrong.
- Gee! Other people are better than me at some things.
- They could be right.
- Maybe there’s another way.
I do know there is no perfect person, least of all me. Looking forward to another growth period and maybe it’ll come through criticism.

But I will share this totally epic version of






Now that 2019 is in my rear view mirror, I’ve set my focus forward. Each New Year’s Day I set goals for my year, begin a new Bible reading guide, plan ways to improve or change behavior or attitudes. Today is no different, and yet it is. As I approach my 60th birthday, I’m not as interested in improvement and change as I am with celebrating what’s already a part of my life. Yes – I still desire to grow and learn each day, but I also know God has done some amazing things in my life, given me wonderful relationships to nurture, gifts to be grateful for. I’m going to FOCUS this year – focus on what is right in front of me and do what is necessary to live in grace and walk in love.














Control. Those who don’t have it, want it; and those who have it, want more. No one seems to want less control. But in reality, we don’t have the control we think we have, and certainly can’t hold onto it as we age. Control is a slippery and brutal beast. It will rip out your heart, even as you grasp at it’s greasy tail. Control will lure you with promises of riches, happiness, and popularity. But it’s a trap. Life is full of things we have no control over, and with no hope of gaining that edge.














