Category Archives: Bible

The Place for Hatred

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love_and_hate_by_baro24

The word “hate” conjures up so many images. Just saying the word makes me think of anger and darkness. I can almost smell the fumes of brimstone and ash. Hatred is a very strong word. And we throw it around so carelessly.

“I hate lima beans.”

“I hate that reality show.”

“I hate her dress.”

“I hate my life.”

After some pondering and Scripture-searching, I’ve decided there are two sides to hatred. We need to stop using it nonchalantly. There is no place for the word “hate” when we are referring to a person. God calls us to love each other, even to love our enemies (Matthew 5:43-48 Read it in the Message – powerful stuff). Though the Psalms are rife with references to “hating our enemies,” the New Testament arrival of Jesus puts into perspective how much God loves all of us, no matter our political party affiliation, religion, or sexual orientation. I’m not where I need to be yet – but I’m facing the right direction. I desire to choose love over hate, every time.

But there is a place for hatred. We need to hate how we treat each other. We need to hate how we treat ourselves. We need to hate sin, all sin, the way God does. And sin means more than just what you don’t like.

Paul gives a great list of behavior and attitudes we should hate: “It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.” (Galatians 5:19-21 The Message)

So hate what deserves your hatred…and then choose to love.

I Really Don’t Care

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apathy

Sometimes I just don’t care. I don’t care about the latest Bachelor episode, hipster trends, or political hot button. I don’t care who won a Grammy or Oscar or the latest steroid scandal in sports. I don’t care if the dress is blue and black or white and gold. Really.

Does that make me apathetic? Maybe. But I guess I don’t have time to fixate on issues which have no eternal consequence. The question I need to ask myself is more along the lines of: Do I care about the things which God cares about?

Do I love the lost? Do I help the impoverished? Do I give a cup of water to someone’s who is thirsty? Do I clothe the naked? Do I feed the hungry? Do I rescue the trafficked? Do I even care?

I’m asking myself those important questions today.

Jesus said, “We are intimately linked in this harvest work. Anyone who accepts what you do, accepts me, the One who sent you. Anyone who accepts what I do accepts my Father, who sent me. Accepting a messenger of God is as good as being God’s messenger. Accepting someone’s help is as good as giving someone help. This is a large work I’ve called you into, but don’t be overwhelmed by it. It’s best to start small. Give a cool cup of water to someone who is thirsty, for instance. The smallest act of giving or receiving makes you a true apprentice. You won’t lose out on a thing.” Matthew 10:40-42 (The Message)

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’” Matthew 25:40 (NIV)

Just do it.

You Don’t Owe Me Anything

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entitlement-cartoon

I love the picture I’ve included in this blog. Sometimes I get caught with this feeling – mine, mine, mine. Like a toddler in a playroom. Every toy, every cracker, every blanket belongs to me. Or as an adult, every coupon I hold in my hand deserves to be honored (even if it’s the wrong store and expired – yes, it’s happened).

Day 13 – Giving up My Rights

Ever feel as though you deserve to be treated better…deserve to have your employer give you more money, better perks, snazzier title? I’m entitled to (fill in the blank). We’ve all thought it, even maybe said it. But it’s a lie.

The world doesn’t owe me anything.

The word “entitlement” means a condition of having a right to have, do or get something. Today I’m going to give up my feeling of entitlement – the feeling that I have a right to much of anything. My feelings of entitlement usually lead to pride and we all know what comes after pride…a major fall.

So I’ll listen to wise Paul, the apostle who wrote this to the church in Corinth: “Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak.”

Eeyore or Pollyanna

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11523-Eeyore

Goodbye Eeyore, Hello Pollyanna

Though I’m naturally an optimistic person, sometimes I react in negative ways to someone who wants to bring change into my life. Instead of embracing the excitement of doing something new or in a different way than what I may be used to, I jump right to “but what if?” It’s like a splash of icy water in someone’s face when I respond negatively to their anticipation.

In the spirit of trying new things, I’m going to let go of negativity. It won’t be easy. I don’t always realize what I sound like. But I can usually tell by the expression on the face of the person I just spewed on.

I’ve been accused of being a Pollyanna (refer to old Disney movie of same name). She always looked for the silver lining in any situation, loved everyone no matter what class of person they were, and her unconditional love transformed a grumpy aunt into a loving, giving woman. Now there is the power of love! (Huey Lewis song reference) I guess I’d rather be a Pollyanna than an Eeyore (refer to A.A. Milne’s donkey of Winnie-the-Pooh fame). As beloved as Eeyore is, he has serious depression issues. Only Winnie’s love-him-at-all-costs attitude brings Eeyore any semblance of normalcy. You see, we all need our Pollyannas and Winnie-the-Poohs. Winnie and Polly light up their worlds with their positive view of life.

I think the opposite of being negative in every response and reaction isn’t being positive. I think the antithesis of negativity is joy! The Psalmist said, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” (Psalms 51:12).

There are some days I can’t seem to choose joy. Those days when life is hard, love seems far away, news is tough to hear…those days I can only pray for the joy of the Lord to fill me. I have to decide to react with love and joy but I can’t give out what I don’t have inside me to give. So I pray daily for the joy of the Lord to fill me and the love of Christ to shine through me. (Psalm 4:6-7 – “Many are asking, ‘Who can show us any good?’ Let the light of your face shine upon us, O Lord. You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound.”)

If I’ve spewed on you in the past, please forgive me. If I’ve responded to your new ideas or good news with harsh words or negative emotions, please forgive me.  Today I will choose to give up my negativity and embrace joy!

Ask For Help

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help_button

Day 11 – Asking for help and advice makes me stronger

Maybe you can’t see this issue as one of “giving up” anything. But I choose to think of it as giving up my need to control and decide on my own. I’m not giving over my life to anyone but acknowledging that maybe, just maybe, someone else may have insights and wisdom which would benefit me. I’m a big believer in the wisdom of wisdom. Solomon fills the pages of the book of Proverbs with sayings about obtaining wisdom, choosing wisdom, listening to wisdom. For instance, Proverbs 19:20 says “Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.”

Thankfully I do have wise people around me who I listen to and learn from. My husband is my best friend and one of the wisest men I know. He is my confidante, my go-to guy when I need to vent (sorry about that), and when I need counsel. And he’s not afraid to tell me what he thinks. Most of the time. I do think I can be scary sometimes.

We’ve also got two young men who have learned the same principle. Asking for help and advice isn’t a weakness. Both have people in their lives, including their parents, who they trust to give wisdom, not just spout platitudes. For that we are very grateful.

But maybe you think, “I don’t need anyone – I know what I need to do – I’ve got enough common sense to take care of this on my own.” If that works for you every time, go for it. But I’m pretty sure that’s not the case. At one time or another, you probably have made a decision or chosen a path you wished someone had warned you about. In fact, that wise guy Solomon says “The way of the fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.” (Proverbs 12:15)

Advice from friends is okay but sometimes listening to the wisdom of men can get you into a bind. See 1 Kings 12 where Solomon’s son Rehoboam gets into some serious trouble. Verse 13 says “Rejecting the advice given him by the elders, he followed the advice of the young men…”  This doesn’t work out well for him and only results in the splitting of Israel into two separate kingdoms. Not everyone is capable of giving out wisdom. But I know Someone who knows all, sees all and wants to see you succeed.

Jehoshaphat (godly king) tells the evil king of Israel (in 1 Kings 22:5) to seek the counsel of the Lord before heading into battle. The Psalmist says “I lift my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1) Your greatest source of wisdom will always be in the counsel of the Lord. So when you need help – ask for it. Find godly advisers, mentors and friends who you trust will give you sound counsel but in the end, trust in the wisdom which only comes from God.

Eph. 1:16-17 – I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know him better.

Giving Up Guilt

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My siblings may not know this but I have three secret stepsisters…really, really ugly stepsisters. I don’t often acknowledge them but I keep them pretty close at hand. Once in a while I get brave or inspired and kick them out but then in a weak moment, one or all will creep back in to live with me again. Maybe you know them. Their names are Guilt, Shame and Condemnation.

Day 9 – The Guilt Has to Go!

I’m not perfect. I never have been. I have a few things in my past that I regret. Maybe you do too. I don’t have any problem allowing the guilt from those mistakes to live with me. I know God loves me. I trust God’s Word. Because of Jesus’ death on the cross and my acceptance of Him as my Lord and Savior, I have been forgiven of all my past mistakes (Eph. 1:7). Because of God’s love, grace and mercy I can live my life free of guilt. But that doesn’t mean I do. And it is my own choices which bring old ugly Guilt back to live within my head over and over again.

Have you ever done something you thought was so bad or so hurtful, that no one could forgive you? You know God has, right? Just ask Him and He will. That’s the really easy part. But this sin, this error in judgment, this stupid mistake, occupies your mind and soul. Maybe even to the point of making you physically ill. That’s your ugly stepsister Guilt at work once again.

Guilt

What does it take to remove the old gal?
Forgiveness. You and I forgiving ourselves.
You see, until I decide to let the past live in the past, that shadow of guilt will hover and drown out whatever good God could bring from that old mistake.

Today I’m booting my ugly Guilt to the curb and replacing her with the sweet aroma of forgiveness – basking in God’s forgiveness of me and sprinkling it with a lot of forgiveness of myself (Heb. 10:22).

Be Gone Guilt! I’m giving your living space a new name – Forgiveness.

It’s Not My Fault!

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Day 8 – The Blame Game

“But it’s not my fault! She made me do it!”
“This is your fault, not mine!”
“He did it, not me!”

If you’ve ever had a child, this game comes pre-programmed. If you’ve had more than one child, the game comes in high-definition. First as a daughter and later as a mom, I’ve been a giver and a receiver of blame. Some of it was legitimate…most was not.

Basically it comes down to taking responsibility for ourselves – our actions and our words. Some of us “old timers” may want to blame our society for this epidemic of irresponsibility but all I have to do is look at Genesis 3:12 to see the first ones who played the Blame Game.

God is looking for Adam and Eve in the garden (after their little encounter with the serpent). They were hiding from God (kinda funny, really. You can’t hide from the One who sees everything). Adam said they were hiding because they were naked and God asked him, “Who told you that you were naked?” Adam steps up to the plate and takes personal responsibility for all of it. Not.

“The man said, ‘The woman you put here with me – she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.’”
And lovely wife Eve continues with “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

The Blame Game continues on with the stories of Cain and Abel; Abram, Sarai and Hagar; Jacob & Esau; Joseph and his brothers and on and on and on. It’s no different today. We get frustrated or angry about some affront and begin blaming someone or something. Today it could be the snow, the cold, the snowplows, or the government. Social media is full of vitriol against megachurch pastors, Oprah, the president, Lady Gaga, or whomever is your personal whipping boy. I’ve heard adult men blame their mothers for the choices they are making today. Come on guys. She may not have been the best mother in the world but let it go and be an adult. Take responsibility for your own choices in life. If you’ve got serious emotional issues, ask for help…but blaming others is not the way to mental health and healing. Playing the Blame Game only gives bitterness and resentment.

No more passing the buck. There was only One perfect person. We all make mistakes. We all make bad choices. Time to admit it and move on.

Let’s consider what James said in his New Testament book – “If any of you lack wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” So, today I’m giving up the Blame Game and choosing to ask for wisdom. Sounds like a great trade off to me.

Blame Game

People Pleaser, Be Gone!

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applause

Day 6 – Giving up Pleasing People

It’s hard to live successfully in this world without needing to please people. If we worked at our jobs but our bosses weren’t pleased with us, we wouldn’t have our jobs for long. But there is a difference between pleasing people in order to live and living in this world to please people.  That latter one is a never-ending, never-fulfilling cycle of frustration and disappointment.

You can’t please everyone…you probably can’t please any one person, all the time. I love my husband and kids but I’m not always able to please them. I try to make decisions to show my family my love for them but I’m pretty sure all my choices do not please them. If I lived just to please them, we would eat pizza, drink pop, play video games all day, sleep until noon, stay up past midnight…wait. That sounds like college. Seriously, I need to make decisions based on what is good for them and for me – not always what they like or what I like but what will help us grow and mature into the people God desires us to be. So sometimes, they aren’t pleased with my decision to serve leafy green vegetables instead of French fries or to insist on apologizing to each other when they’ve been fighting or keeping a commitment even when I don’t feel like it.

When it comes to people outside of my family, I’m not going to allow someone else’s opinion of me to set the tone for my life. If I know I’m living according to the desires of God’s heart, then I’m going to be happy with that, and not work to receive the applause and accolades of others. That’s the goal anyway. Today I’m giving up the notion that I have to make everyone happy with me and embrace the One who I live to please.

Because really, why am I concerned about acceptance from people when I am…

  • The salt of the earth (Matt. 5:13).
  • The light of the world (Matt. 5:14).
  • In Christ and Christ is in me (John 14:20).
  • Loved by Jesus (John 15:9).
  • Protected from the evil one (John 17:15).
  • Among the called of Jesus (Rom. 1:6)
  • No longer a slave to sin (Rom 6:6b)
  • Not under law, but under grace (Rom 6:14).
  • A child of God (Rom 8:16 and 1 John 3:2).
  • An heir of God and fellow heir with Christ (Rom 8:17)
  • Not lacking in any spiritual gift (1 Cor. 1:7).
  • A temple of God in which the Holy Spirit dwells (1 Cor. 3:16).
  • Comforted by God (2 Cor. 1:4).
  • Sealed in Christ (2 Cor. 1:22a)
  • A sweet aroma of the knowledge of Christ (2 Cor. 2:14).
  • A new creature in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17).
  • An ambassador for Christ (2 Cor. 5:20).
  • Crucified with Christ (Gal. 2:20a)
  • A son of God (Gal. 4:6).
  • Blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ (Eph. 1:3).
  • Holy and blameless in His sight (Eph. 1:4b).
  • Rooted and grounded in Christ’s love (Eph. 3:17).
  • Filled with the fruit of righteousness through Jesus Christ (Phil. 1:11).
  • Taught by God to love others (1 Thess. 4:9).
  • Made holy through Jesus’ own blood (Heb. 13:12).
  • A chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a person for God’s own possession (1 Pet. 2:9).
  • Healed by Jesus’ wounds (1 Pet. 2:24).
  • Forgiven (1 John 1:9).

So if this isn’t good enough for some people, it’s okay. Because I know this is way good with God…the only One who really matters.

“Cheerfully pleasing God is the main thing, and that’s what we aim to do, regardless of our conditions.” (2 Cor. 5:9 – the Message)

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Gal. 1:10 – NIV)

So You Think You’re Not Good Enough?

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guilt-and-unworthiness

Day Three – Packing Up My Feelings of Unworthiness

I have to admit I have a pretty healthy self-image. I don’t really struggle with feeling unworthy of love. But I know a lot of people who do – women and men. Maybe it’s because I received a lot of affirmation as a child and even now as a middle-aged adult (Hey – I’m going to live to be 110, ok?). My parents always told me they loved me, they hugged and kissed us as kids (and adults). My dad constantly told me I could do anything I put my mind to. I receive a lot of encouragement from my husband, friends and employers. They seem to have faith and trust in me, and I try to show the same to others in my circle of influence.

But maybe you don’t have that support. Why do some of us feel unworthy of love and acceptance? Maybe you didn’t have anyone show you love or tell you in ways you understood (see “Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman). Maybe we’ve judged ourselves unworthy because of what we see on the outside, using cultural standards of beauty. We buy into a false reality when we believe what the magazine covers and cosmetic ads tell us about beauty. If we believe the romance novels and the movie plot lines, we would never feel “good enough” to be worthy of anything.

In case you don’t realize it – Your identity comes from what God has done for you and He says you are worthy. Here are a few things you need to remind yourself of…and saying them out loud helps a lot!

*I am accepted.
*I am secure.
*I am significant.
*I have value.
*I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
*I have been chosen by God.
*I am God’s friend.
*I have been bought with a price and I belong to God.
*I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus.
*I am born of God.
*I have been given a spirit of power, love and a sound mind.
*I am God’s workmanship.
*I am a citizen of heaven.
*I have been established, anointed and sealed by God.
*I am being transformed into Jesus’ likeness.

This whole list is in Scripture so if you want the exact references, let me know. There’s a whole bunch more too!

So – remember this. Your identity, your feelings of worth, do not come from your name, your heritage, your circumstances, your children, your job, your talents (or lack), your address, or what people say about you. God says your beauty comes not from your outward appearance but from your inner self, “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:4)

Oh boy – I really need to work on that gentle and quiet thing.

But That Makes Me Uncomfortable

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burger

The Lenten season has just begun and I’m blogging about all those things I’m going to give up. By the end of this 40 Day journey, I may be skinnier. Yay.

Day Two – Stepping Outside My Comfort Zone

I don’t know about you but I like to be comfortable. When I get home from work I often change right into fleece lounge pants and a sweatshirt. Very attractive, let me tell you. The combination of the fabric and the looseness just makes me feel so good…so comfortable. And when I’m grumpy, or cold, or anxious, or sad, there’s nothing like my mom’s homemade chicken and noodles…or big piece of lasagna…or greasy cheeseburger…or deep dish pizza. Comfort food .

But today I’m going to give up my comfort zone. I’m going to get outside the fleece-lined box I like to crawl into to avoid change or escape the world and its worries. I’ll drink tea instead of coffee. I’ll eat a salad instead of a slice of pizza. I’ll choose prayer over worry. I’ll make a new friend instead of the safety of those I already know. I’ll change up my routine, just because.

Change is a necessary component of life. Probably the only time I’ve chosen to embrace it is when I’m the one controlling it. The Bible is full of accounts when change happens and how we can deal with it. God asks Abram to change locations, many times. Abram didn’t argue, he just went, even when he didn’t know where he was going. I want that attitude. “It’s not about me, Lord. Wherever you send me, I’ll go!”

How about changing a name? God changes Abram to Abraham and Sarai to Sarah. Pharoah changes Joseph’s name to Zaphenath-paneah (just try to find a necklace with that one on it). Usually with these new names, came new promises. My Lord – who knows me by name – calls me blessed, chosen and loved. Good name.

In Gen. 15 God appears to Abram in a vision (how’s that for outside your comfort zone?). God is once again reassuring Abram that he will have a son of his own flesh. I especially like this part in verse 5: God took Abram outside of his tent (where he was warm and comfortable) and said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars…if indeed you can count them.” God showed Abram how big His vision was – more offspring than the stars in the sky. Allow God to take you outside your comfortable tent and show you the BIG dream, the BIG vision He has for you. But you’ll never see it from the comfort of your tent. You’ve got to step outside!

Tent-Night-Sky

Maybe God will ask you to move, or change your job, or look up an old friend, or make a new one, or try a different food, or take a missions trip, or pray with the clerk at Wal-Mart. How about this one? God may ask you to stand up for your faith when no one around you is doing so. Are you comfortable with that? Are you going to give up your comfort zone? I’m going to try. And that’s all God asks.