Author Archives: Kris McGarvey

Unknown's avatar

About Kris McGarvey

It's not what I do that matters...it's who I am through the eyes of Jesus.

Food Thoughts After the Roadtrip

If you’ve been keeping up with my social media postings, ask yourself “why?” Really, people. Get out there and live your own life!

#RoadTripWeekend just concluded! We got into our beds around 3 o’clock this morning, exhausted from driving through thunderstorms all the way from Madison, Wisconsin. There may have been a few miles with no rain, but very few. And my amazing husband did all the driving on the way home. Thankfully we found a BP gas station open at 1:30 a.m. in Dubuque. Not sure our bladders would have made it otherwise.

Today I’m reflecting on the ups and downs, the good and bad points from the whole experience. Interestingly enough, I did have a few disappointments. For one, my food consumption was not only unhealthy but also didn’t taste all that great either. Seriously – if I’m going to partake in mega amounts of calories, fat and sugar, it should be worth it, right?

maple bacon

So here is the best food of the weekend: Definitely CJ’s Bagels and Topped Doughnuts in Ankeny. I only had one bite of Sean’s bagel breakfast sandwich but it was sooo good. The maple bacon doughnut and sugar-coated twist were wonderful. Melt-In-Your-Mouth-Delicious. We will be visiting this place again real soon.

vesuvius pizza

Another great find was Vesuvius Wood-fired Pizza in Ames. It may have been the company (my youngest son), the fact that I adore pizza, or the toppings (Buffalo chicken and bleu cheese) but this small place was big on flavor, and wasn’t very expensive. Perfect meal right before a movie.

Honorable mention goes to the breakfast casserole, fresh fruit and protein balls I had for brunch on Sunday morning. I won’t embarrass the cooks but for newlyweds, they did a great job! Yes – I had seconds on everything. I don’t have the recipe (yet) for the protein balls but I know they contained peanut butter, honey, oatmeal, chocolate chips, chia seeds, flax and probably some other good stuff. May have been the only somewhat healthy thing I ate all weekend.

Tied for worst of the weekend: both BBQ restaurants. This is very sad. I love BBQ. I took special people out for BBQ both times and both times they disappointed. Granted, I took people who had recently experienced BBQ in Kansas City and Memphis, so the bar was set pretty high, but it wasn’t even close. I won’t say that I would never go back but there are a lot of great places I’ll try out first.

I’ll try to blog more tomorrow on some other aspects of this amazing weekend. Expectations met and a few disappointments too. But tonight is all about sleep. Serious sleep.

My Excellent Adventure Weekend Begins

Not exactly Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, but my weekend is going to be tremendous. And because it will be so amazing, I started it a day early. If you’ve read any of my blogs (don’t do it now – in fact, find some better reading material for yourself. Dr. Seuss comes to mind), you know that I’ve been trying to get beyond my little world and explore things I’ve never done, or said I’d never do, during the month of April. Well – today’s April 30th. Do or die day.

There were a bunch of things on my list that I never got to. Eyebrow waxing, for one. It can wait. In fact, seems the thick eyebrow look is trending right now and I’d hate to bring it down. I also never got to a Zumba class. Tried to find a DVD for in-home use, and the local public library is woefully lacking in the Zumba category, as in…none. This naturally segues into my desire to learn how to bake bread. The library does have how-to books on bread making, but since both Don and I are watching our calories this month, it is a good thing it never happened. Just the thought of homemade cinnamon rolls causes ninja pounds to jump on my scale. I wanted to pick up garbage along the nature trail, serve lunch at a homeless shelter (actually – I have done this, just not in April), and eat veggies only on Meatless Mondays. Didn’t do any of these either. Nope, nada, zilch. But now I have a great list started for another month of “new things.”

What I DID accomplish – shorter list, but felt good, nonetheless.

Ran another 5K – through Hiawatha – finished 6th in my age group (though I was bested by two women in their 60s). Still work to be done here. My running adventure will continue.

Signed up for a public display of an art piece. Scary. I’m not an artist but I decided to go for it. It’ll be on display in Cedar Rapids’ NewBo district through the summer. Thankfully my name is only on the back so no one will really know which one is mine, except for you guys, since I’m posting a picture. Don’t tell.

2x2xU My Tree

Ate fish tacos for the first time. So good. Proceeded to make them at home. Very good. I’m a believer.

Had an authentic Chocolate-stuffed Almond Croissant from Croissant du Jour. Well, part of one. Which was probably a good thing since it was awesome and I’m sure it had more calories than I’m allowed in a week. I will definitely do that one again and take my guy.

Kris_sushi_4_30_15

Lastly, today in fact, I tried sushi for the first time. My two wonderful girls took me. They are old hands at sushi selecting and eating so I knew I would be safe. I specifically asked for one selection to be raw fish, because really, why brag about eating sushi if it’s all just rice rolled around a vegetable? Where’s the bravery in that? So one was raw salmon, one was shrimp & yam, and another was crab-something. All delicious! We had great crab rangoons too – creamy REAL crab filling – hot and oozy. Swoon-worthy. I’d definitely recommend Sushi House to anyone wanting the sushi experience without a huge price tag. My favorite part? Having Tristen and Ellie with me to explore this new thing together. They are beautiful women and I love them.

I’m certainly noticing a trend in these last few paragraphs. I seem to like food. A lot. But I guess if I keep running and working out at Curves, I’ll be okay with it.

So my big weekend continues tomorrow…road trip to Ames to see my boy. I’m expecting a superhero or two to show up, along with more good food. Of course.

Grandpa Bill holding two grandsons on his lap.

Surprised by the Sweetness of Grief

Sometimes grief comes like a hurricane – a huge tsunami of emotion that engulfs and destroys everything. It swirls and chokes and blows and destroys – leaving only shells in its wake.

Sometimes grief is as a still small voice, a whisper of a memory, a glimpse of remembrance. Maybe it only takes the aroma of a familiar casserole, a drive through an old neighborhood, a picture of a birthday party, a holiday or anniversary, a common name.

Often grief is agonizing but as time passes it can transform into a familiar presence. Years away, it creeps back only occasionally, sometimes bringing guilt, but more often leaving a beautiful taste of what was, but will never be again. A taste to savor, not with regret, but with smiles and a shadow of happiness once again.

I had one of those moments this week as I took an extra long walk over my lunch hour. I wandered farther than usual and found myself on a sidewalk outside Cargill, a grain plant here in Cedar Rapids. Seems a funny place to experience that touch of grief, doesn’t it? But for me, Cargill’s semi-truck parking lot holds quite a few happy memories. Memories of taking donuts to my dad as he sat in line waiting for hours to dump his truckload of grain. You see, my dad was a truck driver and he’s been gone for 12 years now. He lived in northern Illinois and for many years, drove two to three times a week (sometimes even twice a day) to Cedar Rapids, the grain truck capital of Iowa. Sometimes he went to Quaker Oats, sometimes Cargill on the river, but more often, the Cargill plant right off  Interstate 380. He was often in line by 2 or 3 a.m. so he could get his load dumped and be back in Illinois in time to load up once again for another trip to Cedar Rapids, or the Illinois River, or any number of farms in the area. He was a well-known and well-loved driver. He worked hard to be the best he could be at his job, backing his semi-trailer into the tightest of spaces and always making sure the farmers got the best service available. He had an amazing memory, knowing hundreds of farmers, plant workers, waitresses and fellow drivers by name. Way before anyone had heard of Map Quest or Google Maps or even GPS, my dad could tell you the best route to get from Point A to Point B…and it usually didn’t involve any interstate driving.

Sometimes my dad had to sit in that line of semi-trucks for hours waiting, waiting, waiting. He couldn’t go anywhere, just in case he needed to move forward, so he’d give me a call to let me know he was in town and we’d head down to see him. The boys and I would crawl up into his truck and dive into that Donutland dozen. I always brought coffee with plenty of sugar packets for Dad and small bottles of milk for two small boys who adored their grandpa. Sometimes the wait for him was long enough that he could actually leave the truck and we’d drive quickly to the downtown McDonalds for a literal fast-food break. Once in a while Cargill would shut down before his grain was off-loaded so he’d get to stay over night at our house. I’ll never forget the proud looks on those little boys’ faces when their grandpa drove up and parked his semi-truck cab in front of our place. He was always up and gone long before sunrise but I knew I’d get another call telling me he made it back fine, “thanks for letting me stay and for supper” and “I’ll see you again soon.”

You never know when the memories change from painful grieving to sweet remembrances, but they do. And you’ll never know where you’ll be when it happens. Could even be on a warm spring day, standing on a cracked sidewalk across from a smelly grain plant surrounded by diesel fumes and truck drivers.

With Grandpa 1

 

No Matter Where You Are, He Is There

It has been quite a wild ride as I contemplate the variety of Sundays I’ve spent doing ministry with Don. We began our married life together in a large church working in children’s & Christian Ed ministry. It was new for me. As a single woman I had only sung in choirs & on worship teams. But I embraced the opportunity to learn new things and work alongside my new husband. 


Soon we were moved to another state – to another large church. Within a short period of time I found myself moving into women’s ministry – as the leader! It was terrifying and I was usually overwhelmed with anxiety. Once again I was learning on the job. Looking back I can see God’s hand at work even though I had no WM or leadership experience. But I plunged into it trusting God’s leading and guiding Holy Spirit. I found myself directing Bible studies, teaching the Word and speaking in front of large groups. In the meantime came kids and all the resulting activities. I worked in the nursery, back a bit in kids ministry, missions ed, hospitality areas, homeschooling the whole time. It was a crazy, wonderful, wild roller coaster life. 


Much like a roller coaster ride, it came to a sudden stop and our next stop was interim pastoring at very small churches. Once again the Lord began the stretching of my comfort zone. I found this tiny church needed a worship leader. What a joy to minister with my sons as we lead this small group of believers into the presence of God. They didn’t mind my lack of a perfect voice (or pitch) but saw a heart willing to serve wherever God had planted us. I ran sound, made coffee, created PowerPoint slides for worship, greeted visitors, prayed for needs. 


Now we find ourselves part of a missions base in an Iowa field with ministry encompassing live-streaming prayer & equipping sessions, refuge & restoration ministries. I’m back to running sound, operating a camera, counting offerings, praying for others, and still making coffee. I’ve gone from wearing dresses with heels to jeans and sweatshirts. Brown hair to gray. No kids to two amazing adult sons. Through it all have been constants: God is omniscient. He knows what He’s doing and I trust Him to place me where I can thrive, and grow, and serve others. Another constant: Don loves me and gives me support no matter what I’m doing. Lastly I found that if I’m willing, I’ll always have someplace to pour myself into. 


God is good – no matter where I am or what I’m doing. He is the same for you. Your life isn’t about finding your perfect place and staying there forever. It’s about pressing into the grace of God, trusting Him to lead you wherever He needs you today. Say “yes” to the urging of the Holy Spirit. Go forward anticipating a new season. Awaken the adventurer who lies within you! 


Can’t wait to see the place God is preparing for me today. Wherever I am, He is already there. 

Get Your Mountain Climbing Gear On

Willie Robertson

My husband and I had the opportunity to attend this morning’s Good Friday Prayer Breakfast in downtown Cedar Rapids. It was held in the newly-renovated DoubleTree Hotel in their very large convention center…and it was packed. I’d like to think it was because the people of Cedar Rapids recognize the importance of prayer, or the significance of this day in the life of Christians, or that we love to get together with one another to seek the Presence of God. And maybe all those things are true, but I really think that today, that huge convention center was filled because the special speaker was Willie Robertson.

Unless you have lived under a rock for the last few years, most of you know Willie Robertson as the star of the cable TV reality show “Duck Dynasty.” He says he’s known more as Sadie’s dad. Sadie Robertson is his teenage daughter who competed on ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars,” throughout the competition standing firm in her belief in modesty and purity. She seems to be a very sweet girl and I’m sure Willie and his wife Korie are very proud of her. The various members of the Robertson family are admittedly redneck, quirky, and entertaining. I first heard about their TV show from the woman who cuts my husband’s hair. My sons started watching and soon after, we did too. It’s a scripted reality show, meaning there is a definite plot to each episode though the family members don’t consider themselves actors and most notably, each episode ends with the family sitting around a large table with patriarch Phil saying grace before they eat together. Each show has a moral and it’s usually Willie who serves as narrator. Each member of the Robertson family is an outspoken follower of Jesus and has never apologized for their show or their stance on moral issues.

The other main speaker this morning was Willie’s friend, Governor Bobby Jindal of Louisiana. Gov. Jindal is another strong believer in Jesus Christ and freely gives his testimony. He’s a pretty smart guy too, having completed a Rhodes Scholarship from Oxford University, specializing in health care systems. Though he has not announced a run for the presidential race in 2016, he visits Iowa a lot.

I could say a bit about Willie’s and Bobby’s remarks from this morning. And though both had great messages to the assembled Christians, I was most encouraged by something they never really said. I was encouraged to listen to two men who have gone against the established precedent and are scaling mountains formerly held only by non-believers in Jesus. You see, often we, as Christians, are told to concentrate our efforts on the church, on ministry. We esteem pastors, missionaries and evangelists for speaking out about Christ but we never acknowledge the day-to-day efforts of Joe and Janet, Rick and Laurie, Susie and Adam…those people who head out the door to work in hospitals, businesses, government buildings, or schools, or those moms who stay home every day to raise up godly sons and daughters. We’ve given up ground to our culture in past years by not encouraging our kids to reach beyond religious ministry and embrace who God made them to be – actors, congressmen, judges, scientists, teachers, entrepreneurs, musicians. People like Willie Robertson and his family will reach people for Jesus who will never enter a church or listen to a televangelist. Government leaders like Bobby Jindal have people who watch him closely…what better way to live for God than in that microscope called a presidential campaign.

I’m mostly encouraged because I can freely exhort my own two sons to pursue their dreams, no matter what they may be. Maybe it won’t be as a full time pastor, like their dad. But maybe it’ll be as a journalist who travels the globe, living for God and reaching people his mom and dad never would. Maybe it’ll be as a musician who writes songs and performs for audiences who would never listen to a spoken sermon. Push your kids to live their dreams while living for Jesus. Let’s be salt and light in a world that needs the flavoring influence of Christ.

Starting Off Spring with a Bang!

Sushi21

Last year I took the month of July to stretch myself a bit. I decided to do a “new thing” every day. Some of those new things were pretty trivial, like choosing a different route to run or take to work. But I also threw in a few things I’ve always wanted to do and never had, like visiting the local art museum, trying out the Cuban restaurant downtown and getting my first pedicure.

Some of the new things were fun, like getting a new haircut and style. Some of the new things were necessary but not particularly enjoyable, like my first ever colonoscopy. You laugh but there were lots and lots of new experiences rolled up into that one!

There was one new thing that I hated. I lost a very good friend to cancer. That one I had no choice about but going through the process with my friend’s family was definitely outside of any comfort zone I thought I had. However I don’t want to experience it again.

Some of my first things have turned into habits. I first gave blood back in November and now I give every 8 weeks. That new haircut back in July has become my go-to cut now. I promised myself to run a 5K in 2014 and I ran three of them, with two more scheduled already this year.

Tomorrow begins April, the traditional first real month of spring. We’ll see some green grass, finally, and maybe a few flowers and budding trees soon. As spring is the season for new beginnings, I thought I’d try another stab at a “New Things Month.” This time I’m choosing to try experiences which I’ve said “I can’t” or “I’ve never” or “I would never” do. I could really stretch the limits with this one so I’m clarifying that I will stay within my own moral boundaries as well as any legal limitations. I don’t want to experience the inside of a jail cell for the first time.

My list includes a few fun things, like trying out sushi for the first time and eating at a Thai restaurant. I keep putting that one on my list but I never get it done. I definitely will in April 2015! I’m also going to encourage my husband to join me in a Meatless Monday, going vegetarian for the four Mondays in April. Since I really, really like meat, I may need to get pretty creative on those days.

There are some classes I’d like to attempt: learning to bake bread from scratch, taking some sort of art class, and Zumba…definitely going to try Zumba. Probably in the safety of my own basement with a DVD. There will be no videos posted on Facebook.

Someone said I should try sky diving. It fits my categories (I can’t, I’ve never, I would never) but it’s really expensive so I think I’ll pass this time. But it may go on my “someday in my lifetime” list. Who knows? I went up in a hot air balloon last fall and I certainly never thought I’d ever get to do that.

What things have you said “no” to? Where can you stretch yourself this month? Add a little adventure to your life. Push past your self-imposed restrictions and live life a little more dangerously. Anyone want to join me in getting my eyebrows waxed?

An Epic Life

Ditch the fear sign

Day 40:

Last year I was privileged to participate in a very interactive workshop with the intention of discovering more about who I am, how I show up and what motivates me. The purpose was to help me decide to live an epic life…a life which impacts others. I can’t do that if I’m not being the best ME I can be. So I live intentionally. I make deliberate decisions to do things I’ve never done, go places I’ve never gone. That also means I’ve needed to confront a few faulty mindsets which had set up shop in my brain. In this “last” blog, I’ll share a few that have been most impactful to me in the last year.

“I have to figure it out first.”

Have you have said this? Doesn’t matter if you’ve spoken the words, the mindset might still be entrenched within you. I am a naturally cautious and careful planner. That seems like a pretty good trait, right? Not when it’s taken to an extreme. I was so careful that I missed out on the fun and laughter of being spontaneous. Do you plan the fun right of everything? Don’t you want to jump headfirst into an unplanned day sometimes? Go for it. Kick that mindset right out!

“If I try, I will fail.”

This one is the safe choice. I often chose safety over getting outside my comfort zone. Choosing to take back my health was my epiphany…baby steps forward helped me to be successful. But it all happened because I chose to try. Failure will happen. It happens to everyone. But it’s not the end. It’s just a wall. I got past it. You will too.

“It won’t matter anyway.”

I’m a natural optimist but sometimes I struggle to overcome this one. Defeatist attitudes are so easy to buy into. We don’t see the success we want. We work hard and see no difference. We diet or work out and see no weight loss. We spend hours teaching our kids to clean up after themselves, and still end the day setting the house in order, just so they can destroy it the next day. But life choices do matter. You matter! Each small decision we make to grow up, move forward, change destructive mindsets will matter. When I started recognizing those mindsets and chose to do different, then I noticed changes in my behavior almost immediately.

An epic life involves a day-to-day, step-by-step process. Here are a few choices I’ve made to change how I show up in life

Have fun

Choose “all in” participation – don’t hold back!

Take risks – choose the path least taken!

Minimize distractions! 

Get uncomfortable!

Don’t settle!

“Then, she began to breathe, and live, and every moment took her to a place where goodbyes were hard to come by. She was in love, but not in love with someone or something. She was in love with her life. And for the first time, in a long time, everything was inspiring.” (R.M. Drake)

I Can Do It Myself!

I can do it myself

If you’re a parent, you’ve heard this at least once, but probably more like 100 times however many children you have. We want our children to learn new things, gain confidence in their abilities and eventually head out on their own as self-sufficient adults. But that phrase “I can do it myself!” (at the top of his lungs) used to grate on my very last nerve. Maybe I was attempting to teach him how to tie his shoes, or make his bed, or do the dishes, or learn a new math concept. Only took one time and then he was an expert and I heard “I Can Do It Myself!” In all probability, the shoelaces would fall apart, the comforter covered up sheets still at the foot of the bed and the plates had bits of dried on egg. We all think we can do for ourselves when in actuality, we need God and we need each other.

The definition of “self-sufficient” actually means having extreme confidence in one’s own resources or powers. My job as a parent was to raise a dependent little boy into a self-sufficient young man. But we can’t forget that we are not to be self-sufficient in all things. Jesus told us He could do nothing by himself; He could do only what He saw the Father doing. If Jesus needs the Father, then how much more do I need Him?

Paul’s exhortation to the church in Corinth included a long passage about unity necessary in the Body of Christ. (1 Cor 12:12-13 – “Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.”)

If our mission is to love God and love others, then it’s not possible to live with self-sufficiency as our motto. I need you. You need me. We all need God. We are quick to quote Philippians 4:13 (“I can do all this through him who gives me strength”) when we’re in a pickle, but it’s a verse we also need to remember when we’re doing well. It is only through Christ that we can accomplish anything of value. Together, as one Body, so much more can be done for the cause of Christ. Today, I’m letting go of my self-sufficiency and embracing my need for God. I Can’t Do It By Myself!

Rotten Fruit

fruits1

I have a large basket on my counter that I try to keep filled with apples, oranges and bananas. Occasionally I notice an orange at the bottom will go bad, or a banana becomes brown, before I can get it eaten. And once in a while, I’ll bite into an apple that looks great on the outside, but is discolored and mealy on the inside. Yuck! No one likes rotten fruit!

The Apostle Paul knows all about rotten fruit. In Galatians 5, Paul talks about the fight going on in each of us. The fight between good and evil, between living according to our sinful natures and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide your life. According to Paul, “these two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.” (Gal. 5:17b) And when you give in to your sinful nature, all kinds of really nasty stuff happens…things like idolatry, hostility, envy, outbursts of anger, jealousy, division, quarreling, selfish ambition. That’s what I call bad fruit. Attitudes, habits and behavior which make us look and sound pretty awful. But, the Holy Spirit produces the good stuff. The fruit of walking in the Spirit is (say it with me)…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. That’s a beautiful bowl of fruit!

Later on, in his letter to the Philippians, Paul gives us a “to-do” list for walking in the Spirit, for producing the kind of fruit I want to be known for – healthy, plump, beautiful fruit – which attracts others to you and to your life lived for Jesus. I love how The Message says Philippians 2:3: “If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.”

By choosing to walk in the Spirit, you’ll constantly be producing gorgeous fruit and tossing out the bad stuff. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be known for my rotten fruit.

Thank You God for Dirty Socks

dirty socks

I am a blessed woman. I know it. I’m a “there’s always a silver-lining” kind of person. Makes my kids crazy sometimes. I’ve always said things are never as bad as they seem. But there are still times when I’m overwhelmed, when I can’t see anything except the chaos around me. And I let myself get sad. I start thinking “poor me.” I begin to believe the lies – you know the ones…”I’m alone, I’m going to fail, I’m not good enough, I can’t do it.” In this case – I – is the operative word. I’ve become self-absorbed.

It’s in those moments when I desperately need to look outside of myself. When I feel the pull to look inward, I fight it…with everything I have. I go to my “Gratitude Fix.”

Ann Voskamp calls them gifts. In her book entitled “One Thousand Gifts,” she challenged me to live fully right where I am. I read the book a few years ago and took her up on her 1000 gift dare. I opened a brand new, clean notebook, ready to fill it with beautiful expressions of my heart’s cry of gratitude. I decided to come up with 10 to 20 new entries each day. It started out pretty easy. I could think of a lot of things I was thankful for…air to breathe, a house to live in, a husband who loves me, clean water to drink. But after the first fifty or so, it started getting a little tougher. That’s when I began to look at the smallest of items as blessings, as gifts, in my life.

My notebook began to fill up. A thousand gifts takes a while to compile. I began to really look for things to be thankful for. My senses became more attune to the blessings all around me. My eyes got sharper. I saw my mundane life in a new way. I viewed circumstances in a different light. I heard smaller sounds. I tasted more clearly, felt more deeply, inhaled new aromas.

Thank You, Lord, for the dirty socks left in the living room (which means my kids have enjoyed their day and have feet to wear socks on).
Thank You for garbage to haul outside (meaning I have more than enough food to eat)
Thanks for toilets to clean (Thank You God for Indoor Plumbing!)
Thank You for that first daffodil in the spring and the sounds of cardinals in the trees.
Thanks for bunnies who race with me down the trail in the wee hours of the day.
Thank You for the aromas of lilacs, and baking bread, and burning leaves, and freshly-laundered sheets.
Thank You for the taste of peppermint or that first pungent sip of freshly-roasted coffee.

You should try it sometime. If a list of one thousand seems overwhelming, do half of that or a quarter. The point is to look beyond the obvious and see the hidden hand of God. You are blessed. Now it’s time to realize it.