I think I ran a red light last night.

Cedar Rapids has many intersections with special “red light cameras” to catch those who run through stoplights. At night, you can see the flash of the camera as it catches the culprit’s car/face/license plate. I’m assuming, if I was caught on camera, I’ll be receiving a friendly note in the mail with an invoice for a fine. My friend who was recently nabbed at the same intersection said the fine is $100. Yikes! There goes my clothing and eating out budget for a couple of months. By the way, my husband was with me and he wasn’t even outwardly upset. Just matter of fact – “You got caught.”

While mulling this over in my mind, I’ve determined a few things. Number one – I will not be pushing the limits of yellow lights anymore. Expensive lesson learned.

Number 2 – If the ticket comes, I’ll be paying it. May need a few more tutoring sessions, but I’m not going to fight it. A couple of Facebook friends thought I should contest the ticket (if it comes), but if I did the crime, then I should face the consequences. What kind of lesson am I sending to my kids and others if I try to “get out of” the punishment I deserve over some small technicality? It’s okay for me to run through a light, but no one else?

Number 3 – Upon further introspection, I am full of pride. I know – you’re pretty sure I’m overthinking this whole deal. But bear with me. If I follow a strict moral code (the Bible), which says there is a definite right and wrong, why should I think I’m “above the law?” If I saw someone else run through that red light, I’d complain about “no cops around when  you need them.” Let’s take this a bit further – I travel faster than the speed limit on the interstate most days. Why? Because I want to get where I’m going as fast as possible. But why do I think I can disregard the speed limit by 5-10 mph, yet judge someone else for going 5 mph more than me? Is my lawbreaking any less wrong than theirs? Where is the end to it all?

Recently I was part of a conversation with a small group of teenagers who were talking about what they would do if they knew they wouldn’t get caught. I was a little surprised, to be honest. They were not concerned about whether the act was “right” or “wrong,” but whether doing the deed was worth the potential consequences.

I’m not naive enough to think every issue in the world is black and white. In fact, there is more and more gray in my life all the time (pun intended), but my job isn’t to push the boundaries of right and wrong. If I’m complaining about the lack of moral character in someone else, then I better be prepared to live the character I want to see in others. And there is no sin judged worse in God’s eyes than any other.  Adultery runs right alongside gluttony…witchcraft next to gossip…murder the same as jealousy and envy.

So my “red light moment” has turned into a day of introspection and repentance. I’m sorry that my actions will cause me to lose some money but so thankful I didn’t cause an accident or injury to myself, my husband or some one else. My driving record may reflect my poor judgment, but I’m more concerned that my living record reflects God’s grace and mercy. Better get my brakes checked because there will be no red-light-running for me.