Author Archives: Kris McGarvey

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About Kris McGarvey

It's not what I do that matters...it's who I am through the eyes of Jesus.

It’s Not Tuesday Morning Yet

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One of my favorite singer/songwriters is lesser-known, but brilliant in my humble estimation. He has a pleasant voice and very engaging personality. I’ve seen him once in concert (as part of my favorite band’s tour last year) and I’m looking forward to seeing him as the headliner in about 10 days in Des Moines. But his brilliance isn’t his voice (sorry) or his personality or his choice of friends – I love that he writes songs that every man (or woman) can relate to. He writes songs like a regular guy – love songs, songs with catchy tunes & lyrics, songs to his family members, songs in celebration, songs about life, and songs about choices. His name is Ben Rector and his newest album is called “Brand New.” The album includes what I believe is one of his best songs about choices, relationships, and life.

Brand_New

Instead of writing on and on about what he’s talking about, here are the lyrics and you can see for yourself…it isn’t rocket science or difficult theological concepts…it’s just an honest man’s assessment of what he’d do if he knew the world would end on Tuesday morning.

“Like The World Is Going To End”

If we found out that the world
was gonna end on Tuesday morning
What would everybody do
It’s funny how the thought of that
can make something real important
And a lot of things pretty worthless too

But I’d be dancin’ like a fool
I’d be laughin’, I’d be cryin’
Callin’ everbody I’d ever hurt and reconcilin’
I’d call everyone I loved
Say what I was scared to say till then
Now that I think about it
Maybe I should always live like the world is gonna end

I’d hit all my favorite resturants
They’d be open for business
Would not care what people thought, yeah

And I’d speak love to everbody
Who came close enough to listen
And if someone done be wrong
I’d call and tell em’ I forgot

And then I’d be dancin’ like a fool
I’d be laughin’, I’d be cryin’
Callin’ everbody I’d ever hurt and reconcilin’
I’d call everyone I loved
Say what I was scared to say till then
Now that I think about it
Maybe I should always live like the world is gonna end

We spend most our lives
And almost all our time
One what we don’t care about
What we could do without

Every tragedy
Is that we can’t see it
We can’t see until time is running out

‘Cause I’d be dancin’ like a fool
I’d eat ice cream every mornin’
I’d call up everyone I loved
And drive them out to California
And we’d say the things
that we’ve been scared to death to say till then
Now that I think about it
Maybe we should always live like the world is gonna end

Live like the world is gonna end
I find myself singing this song at periodic times throughout the day. It makes me think. Hopefully it makes me act and make better choices too. Hopefully it’ll do the same for you. Because it’s only Friday – you’ve got about four days to eat ice cream every morning.

If you want the album, you can go to his website, or iTunes, or Amazon…wherever you buy your music. If you want tickets to his Des Moines concert (which is on March 28th – a Monday night fortunately), go to ticketmaster.

The Double-Edged Sword of Influence

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Double-EdgedSword

We all have it. Some more than others but, unless you live alone in a cave without any human interaction, you have influence with someone. How you use it can define your legacy.

First, a few questions…

  • Do you show kindness to the harried grocery clerk?
  • Do you drive as though you own the road?
  • Do you discipline your children with respect or anger?
  • Do you roll your eyes when asked the same question multiple times?
  • Do you belittle someone and say “I’m just joking?”
  • Do you give a little extra tip to the hard-working restaurant worker?
  • Have you ever paid for a stranger’s meal or coffee?

The influence you wield can encourage, exhort and enlighten. It can empower others to action…brighten the lives of the less-fortunate…embolden the spirits of the downtrodden. Your influence – my influence – is a powerful weapon for good, but unfortunately, it can also be used for evil purposes.

  • If you can encourage, then you can demean.
  • If you can empower, then you can reject.
  • If you can build up, then you can tear down.
  • If you can enrich, you can also impoverish,
  • If you can assist someone, you can destroy someone.

We can influence others with our speech or our actions. Usually our intentions are obvious in our body language or tone of voice. How you say something usually supersedes what you actually said. Emojis can offer intent but don’t replace the real deal…

So, be careful where you point that thing called influence. Like a light saber in the hands of a Jedi master, hone your positive influence skills. Be patient with others, give grace whenever possible, show love and mercy, demonstrate forgiveness, allow the fruit of the Spirit to hang low on your influence tree. Be salty and shine bright.

Doctor Appointments & Coffee Dates

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  Some days are smooth sailing from sun up to sundown. Others are ordeals to be endured. But most days are like this one – a combination of fun and anxiety, good times and bad, happy peaks and low valleys. 

My vacation day started early, praying for a son’s safe travels to Minneapolis. A mid morning doctor appointment kept my stomach in knots, worrying about a possibly tough diagnosis. The news was acceptable (getting older isn’t for the faint of heart) so I was eager to join my husband for a coffee date. Between shopping, working out, getting ready for and attending my last youth group meeting of the school year, I rode a pretty extreme emotional roller coaster today. 

I’m so thankful for a God who goes with me wherever life’s ride takes me. His promise to never leave me or forsake me is as true today as when He spoke the words to Joshua (Joshua 1:5). So I’m content – content to rest on the promises of God. 

“Do not worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks. And God’s peace, which is so great we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

Plan the coffee dates and persevere through the doctor appointments,  always knowing you are not alone. 

Color My World

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spring-flowers

The original intention for this blog was to encourage you to wear more color. The drab days of winter are over and with the arrival of spring, I thought it’s about time we began wearing greens and yellows and reds and blues…just to liven things up a bit. But while doing a few Google searches, I found that my little title “Color My World” brought some interesting websites to my attention.

There were websites about harp music, humanitarian efforts, and video games. I found a set of 13 individual stamps, a multi-stone engagement ring and heat transfer papers – all entitled “Color My World.” But a couple of entries stood out…namely:

“Colour My World” is the name of a song by the 1970s pop group “Chicago.” For someone who grew up in the 70s, it was a little flashback to my high school days. And the lyrics, though catchy, were not exactly cerebral.

“As time goes on, I realize just what you mean to me. And now, now that you’re near, promise your love that I’ve waited to share…and dreams of our moments together. Color my world with hope of loving you.” 

If you’re looking for depth in lyrics, may want to pass on that one.

color_wheel

Number two – color wheels are pretty. Found a lot of images of color wheels. My graphic design sister tried to tell me how one worked once…I was hopeless. That’s why my walls are plain and I wear a lot of black. But I did find a site that talked about the meaning of different colors. It was fascinating. It made me want to wear red (the color of power, strength and passion) except the St. Louis Cardinals are red and I’m a Cubs fan so I’ll go with Cubbie blue (loyalty, depth, stability and wisdom).

crayons  Lastly – I found a wonderful little website telling about a project to provide art supplies and opportunities to youth in the United States and around the world. The Color My World Project collects discarded crayons from restaurants and donates them to schools, childcare centers, orphanages, etc. And not only do they donate the crayons, the distribution team stays and colors with the kids, teaching about recycling and reducing waste.

So add a little color to your life today. Wear some green on Thursday, and not just for St. Paddy’s Day – green also means growth, harmony and freshness. Happy Spring!

Take a Breather.

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pause-and-rest-1

The Monday after spring’s Daylight Saving Time adjustment is rough. For whatever reason, I can handle that first day – maybe it’s because I’m absorbed in church activities all morning. But come Monday – I’m toast. Today I was determined to get in my 6 a.m. workout but the alarm seemed extra loud, and the morning extra dark and damp. Coffee was definitely my best friend all day!

What a great day to be reminded to rest…to take the time to relax my mind, my body and my spirit. The Word of God is full of references to resting – taking a break from work and activity to enjoy the presence of the Lord. As we know, God created the Sabbath as a day of rest – not as a legalistic tool to give us more guilt, shame and condemnation – but a spiritual discipline to develop our relationship with the God of the universe, and the Lover of our souls.

“My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” Psalm 62:1-2

psalm-62-5

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Psalm 91:1

“Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.” Jeremiah 6:16

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29

No matter the day of the week or the number of hours in your day, God is waiting for you to find your rest in Him…lay your burdens at His feet…put your head in His lap…allow His Spirit to comfort you, refresh you and give you the rest your soul needs today.

lion resting It’s kind of like a God-massage!

Be a Barnabas

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Be_A_Barnabas

There is a man in the book of Acts who has fascinated me for years. If you’ve never read Acts, you won’t get it, but this guy’s life is very compelling. Acts is the book written by Dr. Luke, detailing the lives of the disciples (now apostles) following the ascension of Jesus. Full of adventure and intrigue, good guys and bad guys, shipwrecks, beatings, miracles, signs & wonders, court room drama, and more protesters than at any Donald Trump rally. The story begins with Jesus telling his followers that He needs to go away for awhile but He’s going to send Someone to help them. So, in Acts 2, the Holy Spirit shows up…pretty dramatically…and the world has never been the same.

In chapter 4, a certain man is mentioned for the first time…Joseph, from Cyprus. He is a believer and I assume, because of evidence in his life, the apostles call him Barnabas, which means “Son of Encouragement.” At that time the believers were meeting together, living together and sharing in everything. Barnabas owned a field, sold it and gave all the money to the apostles…and this begins the story of the man responsible for the spread of Christianity around the world.

You thought that was Paul, didn’t you? Well, Paul usually gets the credit. We talk about Paul’s missionary journeys and Paul’s letters to the churches (which make up most of the New Testament) but in reality, this little known man called Barnabas is the real hero. And here’s why:

If it wasn’t for Barnabas, the world would never have known Paul. Before Paul (then known as Saul) had his roadside conversion, he was a very nasty guy. He was the original persecutor of anyone who followed the teachings of Jesus. Just the name “Saul” would strike terror in the hearts of believers in Jerusalem. But after his conversion, he was filled with the Holy Spirit and started preaching about Jesus being the Son of God. Needless to say, some were a little skeptical. It would be like a high-ranking ISIS official trying to join your church, claiming to be a Christian. But Barnabas shows up, takes Saul to the apostles in Jerusalem, and vouches for him…puts his own “son of encouragement” reputation on the line for Saul.

Not only is Barnabas known for being an encourager…and a man who champions those who are looked down on, but he was also satisfied with stepping out of the limelight to allow God’s plan for the world to move forward. When the church in Antioch sends out their first missionaries, it’s Barnabas who is the senior member of the team. But it soon becomes apparent that God is moving powerfully through Saul (now known as Paul), and Barnabas is the “other guy.” But he seems fine with it…he continues to travel, preaching and teaching about Jesus, working as a team with Paul to spread the gospel to Jews and Gentiles.

Our last real encounter with Barnabas may seem as though he has fallen out of favor, but I look at it differently. In the end of Acts chapter 15, Paul and Barnabas have a strong disagreement over the future involvement in their ministry of Barnabas’ cousin John Mark. Young J.M. had travelled with them in their first journey, but had quit for some unknown reason. Maybe the journey was tougher than he thought, maybe he was ill, maybe he was just homesick or immature in his faith – but for whatever reason, he went home. Now, in preparing for their second trip, Paul doesn’t want John Mark to join them, and Barnabas, once again, stands up for the little guy. (Remember, Paul? When he did this for you?) So Paul and Barnabas part ways and we really don’t know what happened to Mr. Encouragement after this. What we do know, from some of Paul’s letters, is that John Mark ends up back with Paul at some point. Barnabas has once again brought an immature young man to maturity and future ministry. And not just any future ministry, but a companion to both the Apostle Paul and Peter, as well as the author of the book of Mark, the second gospel. Pretty good mentoring job, Barnabas.

So, now you see why I find Barnabas to be one of the crucial men in the New Testament? If he hadn’t stood up for both Paul and later, John Mark, we may not have had the gospel preached, or the New Testament written. Obviously God would have found another way, but He used a little known Levite from Cyprus. Barnabas was an encourager to everyone, he stood up for the little guy, and he was willing to put his pride away and allow others to get the spotlight. I want to be a Barnabas.

Egg-ceptional!

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funny_eggs

If you don’t like eggs, you may as well stop reading right now, because this post is all about my recent egg-knowledgement of the egg-straordinary egg! (And if you don’t like puns, it’s too late – you’ve already been egged!)

A few years ago, when I started making better lifestyle choices, I added eggs to my breakfast routine. I needed to add more veggies to my diet, so I began sauteing zucchini, onion, broccoli, and red pepper in a little olive oil every morning. When they were soft (about 3 minutes or so), I added two eggs that I had stirred up in a bowl (with about a tablespoon of water and a dash of salt & pepper). I cooked these scrambled eggs with veggies almost every morning for a couple of months, and I never tired of it. But it takes a little extra time and eventually I switched over to oatmeal or fruit and yogurt every morning.

eggs_in_a_mug

This week I made the switch back – only in a more time-friendly manner. I discovered Eggs in a Mug. So easy, so delicious. Three minutes from start to finish. Now I can workout or run before breakfast and not feel rushed when getting ready for work. Egg-cellent decision!

The benefits of eating eggs is well-documented. Full of protein, inexpensive, low-cal…no carbs, no sugar…good source of many vitamins and minerals, including omega-3 fats (you know – the good fat). I find that I stay full longer when I have eggs for breakfast. So my low-calorie first meal also means no high calorie snacking by mid-morning.

We’re going to start purchasing pasture-raised eggs. My friend says his hens lay about five dozen a day so I feel as though I’m helping those ladies out by buying up their produce. And it gives my friend a little cash and I’m getting better eggs. Another eggs-tremely wise decision…

Easter_eggs

With Easter only a few weeks away, many of us will have a plethora of decorated, hard-boiled eggs that will need to be used somehow. (This is not the time or place to debate the good or evil meanings of Easter eggs). Of course, the very basic, but delicious deviled egg is always a favorite (and lots of ways to change it up using different mustards, or adding smoked salmon or crab – yum). My mom always put hard-boiled eggs in her potato salad. I love egg salad sandwiches – and once again, if you change up the plain mayonnaise to mayo or plain Greek yogurt mixed with chipotle, or jalapeno, or hot sauce, you’ll get a different twist on a classic taste.

Enough already – be an egghead and choose eggs as a healthy alternative to cereal for breakfast, a delicious appetizer or main dish any day of the week.

For making it all the way through this eggciting and sometimes eggravating blog post, you’ll love this website – enjoy the yolks, my friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

#ThankfulThursday

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thankfulIf you are at all familiar with social media, you probably recognize #TBT. It stands for “Throwback Thursday.” It’s an opportunity to post a past picture of yourself or people you know. Most are meant to show how far we’ve come, or how beautiful we used to be, or who we used to hang with. Some of those pics cause me to gasp in horror, tear up in memory or laugh in disbelief. I love #TBT. But I’ve decided to start by own Thursday hashtag – #ThankfulThursday – where I take a picture or comment about things for which I’m thankful. Pretty self-explanatory.

Today’s a pretty normal day for me – nothing special happening. I find that on extraspecial days – days with lots of fun activities, or days with friends and family around – I have no problem being filled with thankfulness. But on typical and routine days, it seems to take more thought to find things to be grateful for…but I’m up for the challenge. How about you?

I took a great long walk over my lunch hour, with comfortable shoes, in glorious sunshine, listening to my favorite music, on my nice smartphone. Right there I’ve got at least 9 things to be thankful for: I can walk…I have food for lunch…I have a place to work…I have shoes…I can see and feel the sunshine…I can hear…I have music available to me 24/7…I own a cell phone. Not so hard to be grateful, is it?

When my kids were much younger, and we had long car trips to endure, we came up with games to play to keep ourselves entertained. As a homeschooling mom, I was always looking for ways to teach my kids something, so we called our favorite pastime “The Alphabet Game.” This wasn’t rocket science. We’d come up with a category  like Animals, Food, Cities in the United States, Capitols of the World, and then, starting with A, we tried to think of a item that would fulfill the category. So if the category was Animals, we’d take turns going around and coming up with an animal starting with the letter A. We didn’t allow for duplication, so if I said “aardvaark,” the next person had to say a different animal, until all four of us had played. Some letters were easy…some extremely difficult ( “x” and “q” – ugh). As the boys got older, the categories got harder. On one of our last trips we used the categories “Musicians,” “Musical Trios,” and “Academy Award winning Movies.” Sometimes only Sean and I play, especially if we’re in the front seat together. But it never fails, we always get occasional input from the backseat passengers (i.e.”Queen Latifah” from my husband when I was struggling with musician starting with letter Q).

I’ve come up with a new Alphabet Game category for our next trip…What Are You Thankful For? Starting with A, you must say something you are grateful for. I started playing it in my mind on my walk today.

Big_Daddies       Gyro_Hut

A is for Aromas – I must have passed at least three restaurants that were oozing wonderful smells…barbeque smoke from Big Daddies, the mouthwatering french fry grease smell from Gyro Hut, and grilled hamburgers from Parlor City. What other A things can you come up with?

If you’re having a tough day, take a Thankfulness break. Stop to think of all you have to be grateful for – write them down if you need to remind yourself later. We’re all going through rough patches…financial struggles, health issues, family crisis, depression and sadness everywhere. But a simple but surefire way to combat the hard times, is reminding yourself of the good things…the common things that give us joy and gladness. Make this a real deal #ThankfulThursday.

 

 

 

My Favorite Language

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Five_Love_Languages

A number of years ago I helped Don teach a Marriage and Family class for his Masters Commission students. We used the book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” as the textbook. Written by Dr. Gary Chapman in 1995, the Five Love Languages has become a classic, and not just for married couples. Due to the success of the principles in the original, Chapman has re-written the book in relation to children, teenagers, men, singles and people in the military. If you look on the amazon.com website, there are scads of books and other resources using the Five Love Languages premise.

Dr. Chapman’s premise says we, as humans, have a need to be loved and not all of us receive love in the same way. We are all wired differently and speak “love” differently. His five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts and physical touch. This blog isn’t meant to be a summary of these languages. If you really want a good read, pick up a copy. Easy read and possibly life-changing material for improved relationships…

You can’t help but read the book looking for your own personal love language. It didn’t take me long to figure out that my “love tank” was best filled through acts of service. And I come by it honestly. It was my mom’s favorite too – even though she never read the book. My mom felt most loved and appreciated when she could do things for us or when we did things for her. She would come to visit me with her car loaded with food – a large pan of lasagna, cookies, Texas caviar, bags of fruits and vegetables. If she knew we were coming to visit, she made sure she had watermelon ice cream on hand for her two little grandsons or took time to take those same guys for rides on the Gator or play outside with her dog, Keely. Once her health declined, I knew I could make her day by cleaning her house, taking her for a haircut, helping her load up on groceries or visiting her favorite restaurant.

I’m fortunate to have a husband who does so much for me. Most weekday nights he has supper ready when I get home. He cleans and vacuums, does the laundry and dishes, and empties the trash and recycling. Does he love this stuff? No (except maybe the cooking part)…but he loves me, and he knows I feel the love when he does these chores for me.  He knows it “fills my love tank.”

I enjoy showing my love for others by doing small acts of service. Sometimes I don’t feel like it, but that’s when I really need to do it. Because love isn’t easy, it’s intentional. Make the choice to do something you don’t like doing, just to show the love. You’ll be surprised – you’ll be filling someone’s love tank and topping yours off too!

De-Nesting the Empty Nest

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Hoarder-clip-art

Now that all the kids are gone, it’s seems like a good time to let go of some stuff. We moved our oldest to his own apartment on Saturday and I wasn’t back home 20 minutes before I had re-arranged the living room and brought a single bed up to his former bedroom. It’s not that I was anxious to see him go (see Saturday’s blog post), but I couldn’t just leave the outline of his double bed in the carpet. Since he’d packed up all his stuff, it was inspiring me to pack up and get rid of a little of my stuff…years’ worth, actually.

My mom passed away 3 years ago and though she suffered a stroke 2 1/2 years prior, she wouldn’t let us declutter her house. She often told me, “Leave my stuff alone. You can do that when I’m gone.” Well – we’re still dealing with her houseful of stuff – mostly items she bought or collected long after her 5 kids were grown and gone. I’ve had to deal with some major resentment issues over her leaving this monumental task to us (mostly my sister, my hero). Sometimes I just want a large box of matches – it would save so much time and energy.

The lesson I’ve learned is GET RID OF YOUR OWN JUNK! Yes – I was shouting. Use every day to get something out of your house…either thrown away, given away or sold…but gone! gone! gone!

It doesn’t have to be a large, unwieldy project. Go through one bag or box each day ~ a shelf in a closet ~ your medicine cabinet ~ your kitchen junk drawer (yes – everyone has one). How about your closet filled with puzzles or games? Donate them to a children’s home or school. Clothes you haven’t worn since the 80s? Pitch them…please. If you need ideas, there are tons of suggestions online.

Spring cleaning is more than washing windows – it’s an opportunity to get the physical, mental and emotional clutter out of your house (and head). And it’s so wonderfully freeing. So many of us are held hostage by our stuff – let it go! Give it up!

Last night I dumped about 5 years’ worth of old Christmas cards. I opened each one, noted the name of the sender, reminisced about that friend or family member and then pitched the card. Long over due but it felt great when I was finished. Tonight? Maybe my bookcase in the living room or the top of my bedroom dresser. In my house, I have no lack of places to tackle. I have accumulated a lot through the years and it’s time…time to de-nest the empty nest.