Author Archives: Kris McGarvey

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About Kris McGarvey

It's not what I do that matters...it's who I am through the eyes of Jesus.

Let’s Get This Party Started!

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“May God Himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The One who calls you is faithful and He will do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

It’s time. Time to change things up again. Time to get back to some basics. Time to confront old habits and create new ones. Time to encourage others to be all God wants them to be. Time to “play detective” on myself and be the best “me” I can be.

Today marks Day 1 of my 90-day journey to renewing my spirit, soul and body. I’ve used a book by Donna Partow called “Becoming the Woman I Want to Be” at least twice before, and I’m picking it up again. The last time was almost 4 years ago so I’m sure there are a few things I’ll need to review and remember this time around.

There won’t be any surprises within the content of the book – Partow focuses on helping the reader concentrate on the spiritual disciplines of prayer, Bible reading, and journaling, as well as developing healthier eating and exercise habits. Since the last time I completed this journey, I’ve lost 30 pounds so I can testify to the success of the eating/exercise disciplines, at least in my own life. We are all unique so I cannot guarantee anyone else’s success but it never hurts to eat more veggies or take a walk every day.

I’m hopeful for a few unexpected turns in the road. Even though the book’s content is known, the way the Spirit of God will lead me this time will be new and different. He is a creative God and I’m looking forward to hearing His voice with fresh ears and listening to His instruction with a clean and receptive heart. This 90-day adventure includes 18 passages of Scripture to memorize – which has never been my strong suit – but I’m committed to giving it my best shot. The Bible says if I study and read God’s Word, it will always be valuable in my life. It is never a waste of time and energy to meditate on Scripture. Looking forward to seeing insights I’ve never noticed before. The Scripture at the top of the blog is my first one to memorize…I’m working on it. Thankfully no tests – yet.

Partow includes a daily affirmation to read out loud…a way to transform my mind with positive statements of Biblical truth. I’m very sure these encouragements will bless me every day. And I’ll probably share a few on social media. Apologies in advance.

I’m going to continue through my own personal Bible reading guide. I’d fallen behind but instead of cramming to “catch up” to where I should be, I’m just continuing where I left off. There is no condemnation from God and no list to check-off that anyone sees but me. Letting go of my “Bible Reading Guide OCD” and embracing freedom today!

Today’s affirmation spoke to me (and I hope to you as well) – “I forget those things that are behind me, including all of my personal shortcomings in the area of spiritual disciplines, diet and exercise. I am pressing toward what lies ahead: a bright future filled with health in my spirit, soul, and body.”

Overalls – All Over

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Cedar Rapids, Iowa – my current home town. I’ve lived here for almost 27 years and worked downtown for the last eight.

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Overhead view of Cedar River at flood stage, June, 2008

In 2008, our downtown was devastated by “the great flood” and it has taken a tremendous amount of vision, finances and hard work to rebuild. But I’m very proud of this little city and all it has accomplished in the last 8 years.

There are new buildings, new businesses and a new mindset – rebranding themselves into a destination spot, not just a place to live and work. I’ve enjoyed watching the changes, as I walk around over my lunch hour. NewBo, Czech Village, Oak Hill Jackson neighborhood and the downtown area itself have all been transformed. The city’s latest project is Overalls All Over – celebrating native son and celebrated artist Grant Wood’s 125th birthday. He lived in Cedar Rapids almost his whole life and created beautiful paintings in a style later known as Regionalism, where an artist paints what he/she lives with, in or around.

Probably Grant Wood’s most famous painting was “American Gothic,” created in 1930.Grant_Wood_-_American_Gothic_-_Google_Art_Project A cultural icon, it is displayed at the Art Institute of Chicago. Wood drew a picture of a small farm cottage near Eldon, Iowa, and placed in front of it the likenesses of his sister and a Cedar Rapids dentist (no, not a farmer). Trivia note: They never really stood in front of that house or even together.

The Overalls All Over project includes 25 life-sized statues of the American Gothic likeness and they are displayed all over Cedar Rapids (as well as one in front of the famous home in Eldon, Iowa).

Since I walk all over Cedar Rapids every weekday, I took a few snapshots of the various statues. Some are fun and quirky, others impressive and creative. I’m looking forward to finding a few more in the weeks ahead as the project continues until September.

 

 

 

 

On the Coe College campus, depicting local TV station, KCRG TV9

One of my favorites (so far) – in front of Czech & Slovak Museum, currently housing an Andy Warhol display

In front of Cedar Rapids Bank and Trust on 1st Avenue, NE

The CR Museum of Art has a permanent Grant Wood display

Couldn’t help myself. Had to get a picture with the “Go” statue. Go-go boots on her and “Do Not Pass Go” guy from Monopoly. This one is in front of the NewBo City Market.

Near Mercy Medical Center on 4th Avenue SE

Outside the Gazette Building across from Greene Square and CR Museum of Art on 5th Street SE

The man is a selfie of Grant Wood, standing outside his studio on 2nd Ave SE

Outside the new Iowa Brewing Company restaurant on 3rd St SE

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The guardians of the Cedar Rapids Public Library

 

Take a fun few hours and visit our little city. Restaurants are great. Easy walking or biking trails can take you everywhere. And, we have overalls all over.

 

#DoHardThings

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My definition of “Hard Things”:

  • It must cause you to make a decision you may never have made before.
  • It must move you outside a comfort zone, a rut or a routine.
  • It must cause your heart to flutter or better yet, race.
  • It must make you learn something new about yourself.

Some examples of “Hard Things”:

  • Getting a new job in a different field (or city or country) because it’s your passion and you’ve put it off long enough.
  • Taking a trip by yourself to a place you’ve never been but always wanted to go (may involve going through customs or a foreign language).
  • Adopting a healthier lifestyle and all the food choices, or workout commitments, which that entails.
  • Changing your “look” because, seriously, high school was like, 30 years ago.
  • Engaging someone new in a conversation about them (not you) and by conversation, I mean, they talk and you listen.
  • Volunteering somewhere you are not comfortable (cleaning pens at the animal shelter, building houses for Habitat for Humanity, serving meals to the homeless, teaching children Bible stories, changing dirty diapers in the church nursery, etc.).
  • Stretching your physical abilities until you have new physical abilities.

Please feel free to add more examples in the comments section.

One “hard thing” I try to do periodically (and sorry, it never gets easier) – I play detective on myself. I ask myself questions like: Why do I choose “easy” when accomplishing something “hard” gives me such a rush? Why haven’t I learned a new skill or taken up a new hobby lately? Why do I sit back and allow others to experience inspiring adventures? Why do I get defensive when someone suggests a new perspective?

Therefore, my summer will be filled with “hard things” – saying “no” to sweet treats and beautiful carbs…hiking up and down hills until I’m sweaty and out of breath (and then doing it again)…carving out time to sit and listen to others (without giving advice or inserting my own story)…writing this blog (even when I don’t feel like it).

For some of you, my “hard things” may seem smooth and simple. And your “hard things” may appear effortless for me. I don’t have any problem speaking in front of groups of people, but others find it heartstoppingly difficult. I love learning stuff about technology – others would just as soon throw their computer against the wall.

The important thing is to make the decision and then follow through. And let’s encourage each other. If you’re attempting to accomplish something difficult, let’s hear about it. Either put it in the comments section of this blog, or on my Facebook post. Use the hashtag #DoHardThings and together we can all cheer you on.

BTW – there is a pretty good book entitled “Do Hard Things” written by a couple of homeschool kids a few years ago about teenagers rebelling against low expectations. I liked it. You may also.

Kickstarting Summer

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This is going to be a great summer! I’ve set some lofty goals, anticipating some pretty awesome results and all while enjoying my husband, my family and my friends. But it won’t be easy…because what’s the fun in that?

First, I’m joining with a long time girlfriend as we, once again, take control of ourselves and lose some extra poundage. We’ll be each other’s best cheerleader, motivator, inspiration and coach – all rolled into one dynamic package…actually two dynamic packages, I guess.It’s so easy to get off the path of healthy choices and slip down the slope into JunkFood Jungle. “But it tastes so good!” Yes, it does, but that momentary pleasure usually gives way a short time later to guilt, shame and condemnation – the Three Ugly Stepsisters. No thank you!

Bible_blogpostWe’re going to go through Donna Partow‘s “Becoming the Woman I Want to Be,” the book I used three years ago to get started on my 30-pound weight loss. Great time to crack it open again and get back on track… This isn’t solely about physical changes, but discovering a plan to renew myself spiritually and emotionally as well. Of course, today was the day my office served Panera for lunch and dropped a 25-box of chocolate cookies in the lunchroom. Great way to get started – No! No! No! I’m so weak – but so far, so good.

Another goal is getting back into the Word, regularly. I don’t know why this is a struggle for me, but I’m being vulnerable here…I love God’s Word but I can be easily distracted by louder, yet less important, things. So this summer – the Bible is the first thing I’ll read – even if it’s not until my lunch break.

I’m scheduled to backpack the Sierras with my older brother in early September so another goal is to get in hiking shape…which, I suspicion, is quite different from sidewalks-through-downtown-Cedar-Rapids walking. I’ve borrowed a couple of library books, researched hiking boots and proper backpacks, priced flights to Sacramento and prayed for wisdom on how to record this whole amazing journey without electronic gadgets.

Lastly, I’m going to attempt to blog throughout the summer – at least on Mondays and maybe more. You’ve been warned. You may want to set your own goal of getting off social media for a short time, or cutting back on unhealthy food choices, or spending more time playing (as opposed to working), or doing something you’ve put off because you never found the time to “git-r done.” Now’s the time – time to kickstart your summer.

This is going to be fun!

P.S. The following is one of many verses I meditate on as I train my spirit, soul and body to say “no” to temptation:

“Let your eyes look straight ahead,
Fix your gaze directly before you.
Make level paths for your feet
And take only ways that are firm.
Do not swerve to the right or the left;
Keep your foot from evil.”
Proverbs 4:25-27

 

Sunday Afternoon Love 

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The last family member has just driven away. The refrigerator overflows with leftovers. My phone is packed with pictures commemorating a weekend of celebration – sparkly dresses, beautiful women, handsome men and adorable  children.

My son has taken a wife and I have a new daughter. Except for about 30 minutes prior to the ceremony, I think I held it together pretty well. And when I did lose it, I was standing with a wonderful friend who let me sob on her shoulder. The tears were cleansing – my heart just couldn’t hold anymore.

My wonderful family showed up in a big way. Uncles, aunts, cousins – all came out in force – from California and Texas, northern & southern Illinois, Cubs & Cardinal fans united for one evening to witness the beautiful, light-filled wedding of David & Tristen.

Life makes a dramatic change now. I’m excited to spend time and attention on my loving and patient husband. He has encouraged and supported me as we’ve partnered to teach our boys a curriculum of life. I feel as though my homeschooling journey is truly over now. No more students at home – our kids (now men) have graduated into real life &  it’s time for them to use what they’ve learned & observed.

Maybe I’ll pick up long ignored hobbies, or learn new ones. I’m planning more time with extended family. Softball & baseball games as an aunt & uncle sound pretty good. Probably need a couple new padded camp chairs.

Thank you to everyone who helped us pull together a gorgeous wedding – lots of chairs & tables moved, food made & served, makeup applied, lights strung, candles lit, pictures taken and floors swept. I hope you know how very much we appreciate the love shown to us by the work completed. We truly could not have done it without you.

A College Graduate Named Brown

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He’s always been a tenacious guy. Determined. Focused. When he wants something, you know it. And he goes after it. He’s learning that just wanting something…even working really hard at something…does not guarantee he’ll get it. Life lesson #1,081,993.

But he wanted his college degree. And he’ll get it. This weekend.

The end of 17 years of formal education. Formal may be a loose term since the majority of his education came on our living room sofa. He wasn’t always focused back then…at least, not on his education. I guess he was more focused on how to get out of writing a paragraph, or completing a page of multiplication problems, or learning his list of Spanish verbs.

But somewhere along the line, he fell in love with learning. Learning about film and music and history. Learning about culture and philosophy and literature. Honing his writing and project management skills. Developing his knack with people of all ages and backgrounds. (I always said he could make friends with a rock.) Excelling in work ethic and time management. He’s quite a fine young man.

Sean_clown_noseOf course, I’m very proud of him. He has accomplished many things in his young life. But my proudest moment won’t be watching him cross the platform on the 50-yard-line at Jack Trice Stadium on Saturday afternoon, receiving his diploma from Iowa State, though I will add it to the list.

My proudest moments are the middle-of-night phone calls and text messages when he asks his parents for advice, and really means it…when he knows he’s hit the wall and can’t go on in his own strength, calling out for help from a sometime silent Savior…when he admits he’s as low as he can get, and yet still pushes on, climbing that cliff, scaling the next hill, always searching for the willow tree of hope.

Life teaches many lessons…some easier than others. I’m thankful for God’s protection and provision over us but life happens…learning to navigate through grief, disappointment, poor decisions, mistakes and setbacks…those are my proudest moments. When you’ve done everything you know to do, and it isn’t enough. When you realize that working hard and playing by the rules doesn’t always get you what you want. But you do the right thing anyway. When your head bows and shoulders slump and tears fall – but you still know God is in control. When you pray and pray, but never hear a whisper, let alone a voice saying “go here…do this.” Yet, still continue to trust. and hope. and believe.

Graduating from college is a tremendous accomplishment. He has worked so hard for this day. But I know greater things are on the horizon – maybe further down the road than we can see with the naked eye – but he’s ready. I’m excited to see the adventure he chooses and I have peace. He’s got this.

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photo cred: David McGarvey

 

 

 

A Little Girl All Grown Up

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See the little serious flower girl? Somehow the last 28 years have passed in a blink on an eye because she’s getting married tomorrow. 

  
My niece Kim – a flower girl at my wedding and sweetest cousin to my boys – heads down the aisle to marry her Prince Charming Travis. She is lovely and smart, cute and sparkly, brave and loyal.

Five years ago she was in Japan during the horrible earthquake & tsunami, only a few short miles from the horrific devastation. For many hours we didn’t know if she was safe or even where she was. Completing her year as a kindergarten teacher in a Japanese school, she stayed after the earthquake to help restore some normalcy in the lives of her kids. She even went back a year later to once again aid in rebuilding a country she had fallen in love with. She’s one of my heroes. 

  
The middle child sometimes becomes overlooked by the antics of older & younger siblings, but Kim was always the picture of grace. I’m sure she had her moments but I lived 250 miles away so I never saw it.  She spent a week each summer with her childless Aunt Kris & Uncle Don, but I’m sure she enjoyed it more when I had babies to play with. 

  
Don is so honored to be included in her ceremony. He used to take her to the donut shop when he lived close and before he married me. In fact, she wasn’t so sure about her “Unca Don” picking a different “best girl” when I showed up. Took me the better part of my first weekend to win her over…pretty pathetic to see a grown woman jealous of a 3-year-old.  
Tonight I’m writing this blog as they rehearse tomorrow’s ceremony. The maneuvering of the bridal party, the squirming little ring & sign-bearers, the music, and giggles, and nervousness…all in preparation for the beginning of her new life as Mrs. Travis Barnhart. I love her and I’m so excited to see my flower girl become the bride – a little girl all grown up. 

The Best Kind of Fear

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Fear of the Lord is fountain

Not all fear is bad. Not all fear puts you under the table in a fetal position. Not all fear keeps you bound up and irrational. Not all fear is a trap from the devil. In fact, the Bible is full of encouragement (and even commands) to fear…to fear the Lord.

Most of us would define fear as a “distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined.” And that is one definition. But the dictionary includes another definition of fear – a reverential awe, especially toward God. And that’s the very best kind of fear…one we should embrace and encourage, not shrink from.

I want to be wise, don’t you? And I want to live a long life. Those are just a few promises for those who fear the Lord. Moses wrote in Deuteronomy 10:12 –

 “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul…”

So what does it mean to fear the Lord? I’m not a theologian but I guess, for me, it means wanting what God wants, loving Him with all my heart, seeing people as He sees them, doing what He has placed in front of me to do, and obeying the Holy Spirit’s voice. It means reading and studying God’s Word, serving the Body of Christ and telling (with my voice and my actions) others about this wonderful Savior who died for my sins, and yours. It means repenting when I’ve sinned, praising Him in good times and bad, trusting Him when I don’t see any possible way out of a crummy situation, and knowing He loves me, no matter what I’ve done.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (according Psalm 111:10 and Proverbs 9:10). It is pure, enduring forever (Psalm 19:9a)…a fountain of life (Proverbs 14:27) and can lengthen your days (Proverbs 10:27a). The fear of the Lord leads to life (Proverbs 19:23) and of course, what self-respecting Christian woman hasn’t claimed Proverbs 31:30 a time or two:

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”

Our fear of things (part 1) and our fear of man (part 2) are snares the enemy wants to trap us in to keep us ineffective in life and most especially, in the kingdom of God. Fear is never from God. In fact, 2 Timothy 1:7 specifically says that God does not give us a spirit of fear or timidity, but of power, love and a sound mind. I think that was the first Scripture my kids memorized after John 3:16. Spirt_of_fearWe used (and still use) it to ward off nightmares when the darkness threatens to overwhelm and our hope seems gone. Another favorite “fighting fear” Scripture is 1 John 4:18a – “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear…”

God has given us these weapons to defeat the schemes of the enemy in our lives. The Holy Spirit will give you the wisdom you need to wage warfare against the wrong fear. Commit once again to fear the Lord – the very best kind of fear!

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4)

Facing Another Face of Fear

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fear stops life

Some of us are afraid of specific things (as I talked about in part 1) but most of us deal (or don’t deal, as the case may be) with a fear we seldom admit…the fear of man. Or more accurately, the fear we won’t measure up, the fear we will offend someone, the fear we aren’t good enough, the fear we can’t perform as we think we should. This fear can be and often is, as crippling as any phobia, because it’s not something we can hold in our hand…it’s an attitude, a choice we’ve made, to allow someone else power over us.

When I fear “man” (and don’t go all feminist on me – this applies to male and female), I’m afraid of how I appear to someone else. “Am I too fat to wear those pants to church? Wait – should I wear a dress instead? Wait – I’ll be in the nursery, maybe I should wear jeans. No – that one lady always frowns when she sees women in jeans at church. But these are really cute jeans.” The endless cycle of conversations we have with ourselves in our heads…mental exhausting…and totally unnecessary.

We have been set free from trying to live up to others’ expectations. It’s God in whom I trust. He is the One I need to please…and He does not care if you wear jeans to church…really! In Proverbs, it says that the fear of man brings a snare.fear of man snare It’s a trap from the enemy of our souls. If we are constantly looking for the approval of others, we won’t have our eyes on the One who loves us best. We’ll spend untold hours in confusion and misery trying, trying, trying to please people who are as messed up as we are. Or worse, trying to please someone who doesn’t even know you’re trying to please them.That same verse says that “whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.” And there is such security and peace when I feel safe.

Allow the Lord to be your rock, your shield, your strong tower. No one on this earth should have the power to keep you from being the woman of God He designed you to be. Stay strong – push back against your fear of others’ opinions – and sink into the arms of your Heavenly Father. He will strengthen you and help you and uphold you. He loves you with an everlasting love and is pleased with you…no matter what.

 

The Many Faces of Fear (part 1)

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Are you afraid of anything?

Yellow-necked Mouse (Apodemus flavicollis) juvenileMost people have at least one thing they fear –mice (me), snakes (me, again), spiders, clowns, small places, heights, flying, needles, and even balloons. In fact, the phobia list is extensive – from Ablutophobia (the fear of washing or bathing) to Zoophobia (the fear of animals). The Top 100 Phobia List includes all of the above plus fear of public speaking, fear of crowds, fear of zombies (really?) and of course, the fear of fear. There is even a phobia called Theophobia, or the irrational and persistent fear of God.

For someone who suffers with a phobia, there is no logic, no talking them out of it, no advice to “get over it.” The fear is very real. I’ve read that phobias are the mind’s way of protecting itself. Somewhere along your timeline of experiences, something triggered an emotional link to a bad situation.I can certainly attest to this with my irrational fear of little ,cuddly, cute rodents. I know it’s illogical. I know I’m way bigger. And I know that “they are more scared of you than you are of them.” Doesn’t help.

Some people have allowed these fears to overwhelm them to the point of avoiding life and any situation that may put them in a fearful circumstance. Fear of flying means only taking ground transportation. Fear of clowns means no circuses or carnivals. Fear of zombies? Not sure how that one plays out in real life – since zombies aren’t real, but you get my drift. Fear of mice means I avoid any area where I know mice are located…and run like crazy or jump on the nearest piece of somewhat sturdy furniture whenever I encounter the little buggers. My family loves to tell the story of the time I jumped up onto a chair and left my baby boy on the floor when a mouse zipped by.  I think the tale (or is it tail?) has been embellished somewhat from the reality of the situation, but they like to laugh about it and David seems to be okay, so no harm done. Except the guilt I now have for abandoning my baby because I’m terrified of mice.

There is help to be had – if you’re willing to be vulnerable and ask for it. I’ve experienced it in other areas of my life…now I just have to tackle the mouse problem. Of course, God can heal you of your fear but since it is wrapped up in past experiences and emotions, He has provided a method of clearing this trauma and a group of people who are currently traveling around the US and internationally, teaching this method so fear no longer has a grip upon us. Wind and Fire Ministries has a division called WFM Peace Clinic, a workshop based training designed to help clear post-traumatic stress, panic, fear, anxiety, anger, running away, nightmares, addictions, coping habits, phobias, weight gain, pain storage, lack of concentration, and more. Ummm…that’s a lot of fear. Originally designed to help restore the victims of human trafficking, this workshop has proven to give assistance to anyone who deals with victims of fear and phobias. If you have fear yourself, or deal with others who do, this is an opportunity to be free and embrace peace.

Feace_Clinic_Sheboygan

(Part 2 – another face – fear of man…)